I CAN TEARTH YOU WITH CHINESE.我能教你们关于中文

[Charlie]

How do I write tiao lou zhi sa in chinese? Sorry if I messed up the hanyu piyin there. As in jumping of a building, self-kill. Since it is my favourite chinese phrase and the only one I currently use regular due to the fact I live in a community which mainly speaks English, I should learn how to write it.

[S'presso]

But why would you ever want to know how to write that?

"Oh well, I do know how to write this in Chinese"
"What's it mean?"
"Suicide."

[daftbeaker]

But why would you ever want to know how to write that?

"Oh well, I do know how to write this in Chinese"
"What's it mean?"
"Suicide."

I'm with S'presso on this one, surely it would be better to know how to write 'I'll have a large beer please' or 'Oh dear, I appear to have broken my leg. Please call an ambulance' or 'Please direct me to the (insert nationality here) Embassy'?

Semi-interesting thing; apparently written chinese is standardised and so can be understood by everyone which, if it's true, is pretty cool when Mandarin speakers can't understand someone talking in Cantonese. Also, written chinese is apparently very resistant to change and so if meeting someone from 500 years ago while you couldn't talk to them it would be possible to communicate by writing.

[S'presso]

Well.
There's still simplified and traditional.
Traditional being used by most Cantonese speakers, and simplified being used by just about everybody else. It's not incomprehensible, but still not entirely the same, with traditional having far more "strokes" than traditional.

[Charlie]

It's not that I don't know chinese; I'm a chinese Singaporean currently living in Australia. It's just that that's one of the words I don't know how to write and no one will tell me. It's not like immediately once I know the word, I'm going to write a suicide letter in chinese. Or am I? Duh duh duh duh!

[daftbeaker]

It's not that I don't know chinese; I'm a chinese Singaporean currently living in Australia.

Wooh, you lost some kind of lottery there

[Tigger_the_Wing]

Babel Fish translated 'Suicide' as :

自杀

And 'jump off tall building' as"

跳跃高层建筑

(Which translated back as 'Jumps the high-rise construction' Superman, anyone?)

Why do you want to write it?

[Tigger_the_Wing]

It's not that I don't know chinese; I'm a chinese Singaporean currently living in Australia.

Wooh, you lost some kind of lottery there

And? I'm a part-Welsh Englishwoman from Ireland currently living in Australia. Married to a part-Canadian Scot.

With relatives who are all of the above plus Greek, Iranian and South-Korean. Go us international types!

[daftbeaker]

It's not that I don't know chinese; I'm a chinese Singaporean currently living in Australia.

Wooh, you lost some kind of lottery there

And? I'm a part-Welsh Englishwoman from Ireland currently living in Australia. Married to a part-Canadian Scot.

Well, the living in Australia is a shared downside. I've heard a fair bit about some disturbing levels of xenophobia among right-wing Aussies and someone who's obviously foreign is the issue I was getting at.

Plus the heat, poisonous animals, non-poisonous but still violent animals etc.

[Tigger_the_Wing]

Well, the living in Australia is a shared downside. I've heard a fair bit about some disturbing levels of xenophobia among right-wing Aussies and someone who's obviously foreign is the issue I was getting at.

Plus the heat, poisonous animals, non-poisonous but still violent animals etc.

I agree with all of the above. Why do you think I wanted neverto come to Australia?

Did I tell you about the bus trip and the old lady?

[daftbeaker]

I agree with all of the above. Why do you think I wanted neverto come to Australia?

Did I tell you about the bus trip and the old lady?

Hehehehe DTH posted that previously but it's still hilarious. "Come to Australia, you might accidentally get killed" *hum hum hum*

And I don't think I've heard about the old lady on the bus (and I'm not sure it should be told where children can read it )

[Charlie]

I don't think Australia is that bad, but it does have a history. A history that isn't very easily remembered by most Australians . . .

Anyway, 'anks for that. I now feel so mentally-enriched. Now to my suicide letter!

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Tell us the bus story, Tigger! I'll get some warm milk and a blankie!

I don't think Australia is that bad, but it does have a history. A history that isn't very easily remembered by most Australians . . .

Because Lovely John Howard went and 1984'd a great deal of our history textbooks and museums. Don't you remember Our Benevolent Principal ranting about that?

But hey, it's a great country because there's women and beer here, and the Tru Blu Aussies are so much more well-rounded because they live in the bush and watch cricket while drinking aforementioned beer. Abos?* Them's awl drunkin an' can't English good.[/sarcasm]
*Aboriginal people

[Tigger_the_Wing]

I was sure I'd told this before, but here we go. It was one of those rare occasions when the right words arrived at the right time instead of hours later (you know how that feels!)

Are you sitting comfortably?

Then I'll begin…

Once upon a time I was travelling on a bus to the city centre from an Eastern (=wealthy) suburb of Adelaide.

The seat I was in was at the front of the bus, but faced backwards.

After a while, an elderly lady got on and started to chat. She clocked my accent and asked the usual questions; how long I'd been in Australia, why I'd come, did I like it, how long I had planned to come to Australia… All this at a raised volume because she was very, very deaf.

The whole bus by this time was silently following our conversation. (Remember, facing backwards I could see them all; a dozen or so people and there was the usual mix of half-a-dozen different races).

I confessed that, although I had made friends I had dreaded coming, indeed had always wanted NEVER to come, because all I'd heard about Australia was the horrible heat, the horrible poisonous animals and the horrible people.

So she asks, in a stage whisper that could have been heard in Sydney:

"You mean the Abos?"

Shocked, I replied. "No! The racist bigots".

She didn't speak to me for the rest of the journey, but it didn't matter; I was getting approving looks from the rest of the passengers!

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

I was sure I'd told this before, but here we go. It was one of those rare occasions when the right words arrived at the right time instead of hours later (you know how that feels!)

Are you sitting comfortably?

Then I'll begin…

Once upon a time I was travelling on a bus to the city centre from an Eastern (=wealthy) suburb of Adelaide.

The seat I was in was at the front of the bus, but faced backwards.

After a while, an elderly lady got on and started to chat. She clocked my accent and asked the usual questions; how long I'd been in Australia, why I'd come, did I like it, how long I had planned to come to Australia… All this at a raised volume because she was very, very deaf.

The whole bus by this time was silently following our conversation. (Remember, facing backwards I could see them all; a dozen or so people and there was the usual mix of half-a-dozen different races).

I confessed that, although I had made friends I had dreaded coming, indeed had always wanted NEVER to come, because all I'd heard about Australia was the horrible heat, the horrible poisonous animals and the horrible people.

So she asks, in a stage whisper that could have been heard in Sydney:

"You mean the Abos?"

Shocked, I replied. "No! The racist bigots".

She didn't speak to me for the rest of the journey, but it didn't matter; I was getting approving looks from the rest of the passengers!

That's great! You must have been so proud of yourself!

Actually, that's not just great, that's fantastic!