Ongoing Pun Competition

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pieces o'nine
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby pieces o'nine » Thu Feb 03, 2011 9:25 pm

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby black bart » Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:01 am

pieces o'nine wrote:A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.


You've got too much class for this thread PON. (actually that's quite clever isn't it?)
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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pieces o'nine
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby pieces o'nine » Sat Feb 05, 2011 12:23 am

Geico is expanding their popular ad campaign; they plan to add a stand-up chameleon.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby Uther » Wed Mar 09, 2011 5:32 pm

England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby Tigger_the_Wing » Sat May 14, 2011 2:47 am

Fans of 'The Beatles' are having a hard day's night finding their records; all the music shops are in the CD part of Liverpool.

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pieces o'nine
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby pieces o'nine » Sat Nov 16, 2013 4:53 pm

Your very last breath will be a fatal blow.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

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ChowMein
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby ChowMein » Sun Nov 17, 2013 3:30 am

I tried my hand at forgery , but I couldn't fake it.

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pieces o'nine
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby pieces o'nine » Sun Nov 17, 2013 4:35 pm

A great caricaturist can always draw a crowd.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby DavidH » Mon Nov 18, 2013 6:17 am

Roy wrote:Two Saudi criminals playing poker. One threw in his hand, and the other laughed his head off.


Like the whore in the leper colony. She gave up because business was dropping off.

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pieces o'nine
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby pieces o'nine » Mon Nov 18, 2013 9:44 pm

Two lobbyists walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

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PKMKII
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby PKMKII » Fri Nov 29, 2013 4:28 pm

Why is a Mexican midget called a paragraph?

Because he's too short to be an essay.
"How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, 'This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed'? Instead they say, 'No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.'" - Carl Sagan

"To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection." - Henri Poincaré

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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby PKMKII » Fri Dec 06, 2013 2:00 pm

Did you hear about the Spanish train killer?

He had locomotives.
"How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, 'This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed'? Instead they say, 'No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.'" - Carl Sagan

"To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection." - Henri Poincaré

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ET, the Extra Terrestrial
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby ET, the Extra Terrestrial » Sat Dec 28, 2013 3:19 am

A Scottish farmer sees a Welsh farmer with two sheep under his arms and he asks, "Are you gonna shear them?” "Nope", says the Welshman, "they’re both for me".
"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."
("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")
-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K Dick

What happens when all the renewable energy runs out?
-- Victoria Ayling

English isn't much of a language for swearing. When I studied Ancient Greek I was delighted to discover a single word - Rhaphanidosthai - which translates roughly as "Be thou thrust up the fundament with a radish for adultery."

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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby Monobaz » Tue Nov 18, 2014 4:07 am

Roy Hunter wrote:I was trying to decide whether to get a frontal lobotomy or not, but to be honest it's a no-brainer.


I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
"There was a time when religion ruled the world. It is known as the Dark Ages." Ruth Hurmence Green

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ET, the Extra Terrestrial
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby ET, the Extra Terrestrial » Thu Nov 20, 2014 12:20 am

You guys want to hear an ebola joke? You probably won't get it.
"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."
("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")
-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K Dick

What happens when all the renewable energy runs out?
-- Victoria Ayling

English isn't much of a language for swearing. When I studied Ancient Greek I was delighted to discover a single word - Rhaphanidosthai - which translates roughly as "Be thou thrust up the fundament with a radish for adultery."


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