The Continuous Salty Tale

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

. . . but was distracted when StyfurstyUrk from under a big turd rose out of his mummys basemint, head reared, and opened . . .

his mouff and cryd OOOoo ware be me loose canin ooo ooo i gunna faynt agan OOooo....

[StayThirstyMyAguila]

. . . and the fire, all-consuming, roared over the deck, until only one remained. And there stood Pete, in all his glory, . . .

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

. . . and the stolin loose canon, wot erik stole, until only one remained. And there stood russil erik witfaild stroking his caon , in all his glory, . . .

an din he cry OOOOOoooo me loose canon OOOOoooo ooo ooooo

[StayThirstyMyAguila]

. . . One of the ninjas tried to stop him, but fortunately for Pete (and rather unfortunately for the ninja) Pete's back hair . . .
Is back hair one word or two?

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

. . . din tha canin feef slither bak to is hole inna durt , cryin Warr me loose canin WHAAAA WARR ME LOOSE CANIN I WANNA WUB ME LEG ONNA LOOSE CANIN WHAAA WAAA WAAa

[StayThirstyMyAguila]

. . . and he wrenched the hand out of the ninja's knife (yes, in that order), and then wrenched the ninja out of the city (yep, he was that strong).

[StayThirstyMyAguila]

. . . not without a good, strong (that is, mentally/emotionally/both strong) lawyer at your side, that is, unless you happen to have . . .

[StayThirstyMyAguila]

. . . in which case, you can just snap your fingers to signal your well-trained Scot to jump forth and, with a mighty wrench, fix your plumbing for you. . . .

[StayThirstyMyAguila]

. . . but luckily for you, you won't be dealing with a plumber, but rather a Scot who is a lawyer and nice enough to fix your plumbing for you.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

. . . not without a good loose canin dat i gunna steel
inna june ta stay by at me side fur effer an effarr an slup in me hummuck wiff me soze i kin wub me leggs onnit alllllll dayyyy . . .

rrr sayd Nef yoo
wot ya doon wiff dat cannin! rrr
ye git offa dat canin wite noaw rrr

butt he dint an shot a lowd
of spoonz et his enemas
anna moan owt
OOOoooooome loose canin oooo me loose canin
ow i luvs ye loose canin ooooooooo

[StayThirstyMyAguila]

. . . before realizing that 42 is, in fact, the answer.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

butt StayfurstyUrkthacannonfeef shot a lowd
of spoonz et his enemas
anna mown owt
OOOoooooo me loose canin
oooo me loose canin
ow i luvs ye loose canin ooooooooo

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

... din hiz muddur yell fwum tha ovfur side of tha door ,

" rrr URK! Wot ye goon on abowt in darr wiff dem stolen cannons in such a hurry ?! "
" Ye git owt of tha water closet speedily ! "
" Ye is 38 yeers ole now an it time ye lern to do yeer oan lawndry an cooking an stuff "
" Wen ye gunna look fur a job ?"
" Wen ye effer gunna haff a gurlfren ?"
"Oi want ye owtta me basemint soze I can hostess a Game Of Thrones viewing parrrty!."

[DaveL]

...which involved a midget (Lannister), who was deemed venerable by the FSM...

[StayThirstyMyAguila]

. . . and proceeded, with the utmost haste, to . . .