This thread is for the drafting of said document.
I'll try to edit this post as much as I can to keep it current.
I don't consider this to be Holy Scripture, just a strategy, hence the selection of forum.
The basic outline of our document
Note: The sections are colored to indicate state of completion. Red indicates a section not yet begun. Orange indicates the first draft of a section, needing work. Yellow indicates a section developed significantly beyond a first draft, still needing work. Green indicates a section in its final draft, needing very little work, touch-ups, or simply general consensus. Blue indicates a completely finalized section.
- An Introduction filled with senseless rhetoric
- An incredibly vague outline of the strategy
- A more specific outline of the strategy
- 'Nother rhetoric-filled introduction
- Unnecessary restatement of the vague outline
- Rhetoric-filled elaboration on the vague outline that doesn't reveal much new info
- Rather frightening goals that do not spare us the rhetoric
- More specific goals to be accomplished within five years that are even more frightening.
- A positively shocking rhetoric-charged 20 year master plan
- Activities (ways to give wedgies?)
- An accomplishments section - do not develop until goals are established.
Note: All text in black is text of the actual draft document. Blue text indicates a organizational/formatting note. Red text indicates additional commentary. Green text indicates something to edit, or a proposed/conflicting edit (when there is a conflict).
The advancement of human knowledge through science is one of the basic principles on which Western civilization was built. But it is time to debunk the traditional conceptions of thinkers such as Andre "Girl's Middle Name" Ampere, Archimedes "I take baths instead of showers," Daniel "Frenchname" Bernoulli, Niels "the" Bohr, Max "Regrettably" Born, Robert "I have a" Boyle, Giordiano "Burning" Bruno, Henry "Gas" Cavendish, Jacques Charles (French), James Clerk-Max"un"well, Nicolas "Materialistic Heliocentrist" Copernicus, Francis "P-not-C" Crick, Pierre "Wife-did-everything" Curie (French), Marie Curie (French; Woman), Charles "Antichrist" Darwin, Albert "Nice Hair" Einstein, Euclid "The G(r)eek," Enrico "The Radiator" Fermi, Galieo "Gali-gay-o," Stephen "Satan-worshipper" Gould, Stephen "Cripple" Hawking, Gustav "Hurts" Hertz, Hipparchus "Hippie," Hippocrates "Hypocrite," Robert "Hooker" Hooke, Christiaan "Who" Huygens, William "Normal People Use Fahrenheit" Kelvin, Johann "Leper" Kepler, Niccolo Machiavelli, Karl Marx, Johann "Crossed" Mendel, Joseph Mengele, Isaac "I suck" Newton, Robert "Openhymen" Oppenheimer, Blaise "Triangle" Pascal, Max "Thick as a" Planck, Ptolmey (At least he knew the Earth was the center of the universe), Edward "Blind-as-Keller" Teller, Evangelista "Not Actually Evangelist" Torricelli, Giovani "Constricted" Venturi, Alessandro "Shocked" Volta, and James "No Sherlock" Watson, among others.
Instead, let us look towards modern revolutionary thinkers such as Herman Schmidt, PhD (comparative philology), Velikovsky memorial scholar and head of the FSM Institute's department of optical studies, Author of such seminal publications as James Clerk Maxwell and the Myth of Electromagnetic Radiation, first published as a series of talks on Radio New Dworkin, Maxwell's Equations Debunked, 7pp, pointing out Maxwell's use of Greek letters to hide the flaws in his arguments, How to Build a Faster-Than-Light Paper Aircraft, leaflet for distribution in schools et cetera, a practical and instructive project for children aged 7-12 (Small parts may cause choking hazard for younger children.), and Photons and Pornography, showing the direct link between Maxwell's discredited ideas and the collapse of morality in the post-Maxwell era.
Let us look towards magnificent figures such as Nethaniel Winter-Wartson, Herr Prof. (Life Sciences), author of FSM : Life before Mars and Venus,a series of talks held at the Planetarium of Good Hope for doctorial students.
The ways of the Flying Spaghetti Monster have now been revealed to us and we must fight against a materialistic conception of reality which has infected virtually every area of our culture - from politics and economics to literature and art. In the West, there is a car in every driveway, a hospital in every town but hardly a pirate to be found.
Five-Year Goals section
FIVE YEAR OBJECTIVES
- A major public debate between FSM theorists and Darwinists
- Thirty published books on pasta and its cultural implications (accounting, sex, gender issues, medicine, law, religion, high performance athletics, weight management, and everyday convenience) [list expanded further, not just a clone of the wedge document's list]
- One hundred scientific, academic and technical articles peer reviewed by ourselves, covering subjects including:
- The obvious design of the human body to accept pasta and pasta-like foods as a easy source of fuel.
- The convergance of modern physics with the Hyper Spaghetti Monster theory
- Significant coverage in national media:
- A wedgie in a major news magazine such as Time or Newsweek
- A reality TV show with a pirate theme or an oscar-winning Hollywood movie. (by July 9 2003)
- Regular press coverage on developments in FSM theory
- Spiritual & cultural renewal:
- strippers performing the wedgie daily in 50 major cities
- a successful internet site to promote FSM
- de-Darwinification Seminaries including a free pasta dinner
- Stop the teaching of science to innocent kids in at least ten states.
20-year goals section
20 YEAR OBJECTIVES
- Elect a midgit to the White House [midget/midgit? Would the outside observer get the reference?]
- Convert the United States Navy to a pirate fleet to combat the threat of global warming.
- End state sponsorship of science.