The Person Below Me

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

It alleviates my constipation .

TPBM is tickling ivory

[Roland Deschain]

It was a bit of a shock, to tell the truth, but then I realised i'd slept on my arm.

TPBM suffers from a persecution complex, complicated by delusions of grandeur, tempered with humility.

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

True , but been there , done that , have been banned .

TPBM is doing so in my stead .

[black bart]

Well yes...it IS in Swansea...or is it the DVLC I am thinking of.

TPBM passed their driving test at the first attempt (3 for me!).

[Roland Deschain]

We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!

TPBM is not an arsehole.

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

^

Oi be a Willy


TPBM luvs Wiilys

[pieces o'nine]

^ Is not going to trick me into a "giving us the willies" joke.


TPBM knows Jack.

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

I know that proper capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

TPBM knows Jack Daniels, intimately.

[Ravi Oli]

Roland... no strings attached there. ^ RRR I seen 'em do that on tv!

I know Jack and Jim Beam as well and shared the odd Wild Turkey with them.

TPBM knows there is a difference between bourbon and scotch.

[black bart]

Indeed there is...over to you Roy

TPBM is Roy

If you're not don't worry, just put on a Scottish accent, talk all scientific, mention valves and no one will be the wiser.

[daftbeaker]

Och aye the noo. Bourbon is a waste of good charcoal that could be used for barbeques and scotch is a type of egg.

TPBM once caught a haggis but it escaped.

[Ravi Oli]

I don't believe ^ is Roy because he didn't mention valves or talk scientific enough.

TPBM was arrested for tossing his caber in public.

[black bart]

Actually quite the opposite...if I return to St Lucia West Indies one more time they have to plant a tree in my honour.

TPBM is an extreme tree hugger

[la la]

Yeah, so they tell me. Just because I shouted "Stop the car! Look at that!" the other day when we were doing 120km/h down the main road, when I saw this amazing tree in one of the parks, it must have been two hundred years old! And it had the most incredible root system, and its trunk - oh, right. Sorry...

TPBM tends to ramble on and on about their favourite subject whenever anyone will listen.

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Ye be finkin ove ole Planky !
Oi juss been nown ta rant .
Sumtymes ta thee shups kat , sumtymes ta the eether .