Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
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- ken worley
- King of the Pervs
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Re: Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
Go to Subway, Blimpie, Quiznos, pot o' subs, etc.
Order a footlong, extremely complicated cold sub.
When it is completed, and passed over to you, and paid for, take on giant step back, and dramatically dash the sandwich to the floor, as hard as you possibly can.
(the goal is to have toppings bounce higher than your head.)
Then in a deep, booming drill-seargent-voice, bellow,
"YOU AIN'T NO MARINE!!!!
See what percentage of people come up to you to compliment you on your pun.
Order a footlong, extremely complicated cold sub.
When it is completed, and passed over to you, and paid for, take on giant step back, and dramatically dash the sandwich to the floor, as hard as you possibly can.
(the goal is to have toppings bounce higher than your head.)
Then in a deep, booming drill-seargent-voice, bellow,
"YOU AIN'T NO MARINE!!!!
See what percentage of people come up to you to compliment you on your pun.

- Zankou 2.0
- Purveyor of Triviality
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Re: Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
Write fucked up stories.
--Zankou II
The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.
"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein
The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.
"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein
- Rainswept
- Caliph of Capitalist Fishing Pole Hobo Apologists
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Re: Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
I find the implication that masturbation isn't sufficient to be offensive.
I believe it's time for mankind to set aside the crutch of religion and embrace morality born of reason and truth. Those crutches have long since proven treacherous when the ground gets slippery.
- ken worley
- King of the Pervs
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Re: Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
Mock people if they claim that masturbating isn't sufficiently offensive to the bystanders(s).

- Detective TurtleHolmes
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Re: Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
ken worley wrote:Go to Subway, Blimpie, Quiznos, pot o' subs, etc.
Order a footlong, extremely complicated cold sub.
When it is completed, and passed over to you, and paid for, take on giant step back, and dramatically dash the sandwich to the floor, as hard as you possibly can.
(the goal is to have toppings bounce higher than your head.)
Then in a deep, booming drill-seargent-voice, bellow,
"YOU AIN'T NO MARINE!!!!
See what percentage of people come up to you to compliment you on your pun.
Dash the sandwich?
Also, I don't get the pun. Is it an American thing?
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.
So yeah, I went and got a blog.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.
So yeah, I went and got a blog.
- ken worley
- King of the Pervs
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Re: Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
Oh, a simple word-play on the type of sandwich, against a commonly impersonated type of bellowed critique of a struggling basic-training recruit by drill-seargent.
Probably the distance to Oz, coupled with the geographical isolation is the main reason for the joke's delay in reaching you.
If the punchline hasn't hit you by lunchtime tomorrow, let me know, and I'll track it through the delivery co's website.

Probably the distance to Oz, coupled with the geographical isolation is the main reason for the joke's delay in reaching you.
If the punchline hasn't hit you by lunchtime tomorrow, let me know, and I'll track it through the delivery co's website.


- Detective TurtleHolmes
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Re: Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
It's just never as funny when you have to explain it. Therefore, ha.
I didn't get it because I failed to make the connection between "sub", which doesn't have a meaning other than "submarine" here in Australia, so there was no connection to make it "sandwich". Damn this foreign cultural slang!
I didn't get it because I failed to make the connection between "sub", which doesn't have a meaning other than "submarine" here in Australia, so there was no connection to make it "sandwich". Damn this foreign cultural slang!
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.
So yeah, I went and got a blog.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.
So yeah, I went and got a blog.
- Rainswept
- Caliph of Capitalist Fishing Pole Hobo Apologists
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Re: Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
Well I got it and it still wasn't funny, if that helps, DTH.
I believe it's time for mankind to set aside the crutch of religion and embrace morality born of reason and truth. Those crutches have long since proven treacherous when the ground gets slippery.
- ken worley
- King of the Pervs
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Re: Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
Print the post, and tape it to thigh, next to genitals....That'll help.

- Tigger_the_Wing
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Re: Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
ken worley wrote:Print the post, and tape it to thigh, next to genitals....That'll help.
I'll be funny when you try to remove it and rip out loads of hair?

- black bart
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Re: Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
ken worley wrote:Cut down the largest tree in your yard/garden...Count the rings to see how old it was.
Do the same thing with your grandparents.
Make a shiny pinwheel, and skip around with it in front of an army barracks, wearing nothing but a pair of ruby slippers and a pink tutu...(This one for boys only)..
For the girls, try to write your name in the snow.(also in front of an army barracks)...
That was the first post in this thread...I've only got as far as cutting the tree down so far...it was four years old...and then I remembered how much I'd payed for it at the garden centre...damn!

The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
- Ubi Dubius
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Re: Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
black bart wrote:ken worley wrote:Cut down the largest tree in your yard/garden...Count the rings to see how old it was.
Do the same thing with your grandparents.
Make a shiny pinwheel, and skip around with it in front of an army barracks, wearing nothing but a pair of ruby slippers and a pink tutu...(This one for boys only)..
For the girls, try to write your name in the snow.(also in front of an army barracks)...
That was the first post in this thread...I've only got as far as cutting the tree down so far...it was four years old...and then I remembered how much I'd payed for it at the garden centre...damn!
Black Bart: You don't have to do everything in the thread. It's optional. If you do plan to continue with the next few suggestions, please let me know what Army barracks you pick, I'd like to be there to hand out my business card. It should be be fun.
Davros, Attorney and Pieces of Law
Keeping up appearances is a very important activity in religion; in fact, maintaining tattered illusions is its main activity. - Richard Wade, on Friendlyatheist.com
We make an idol of our fear and call it God. -Ingmar Bergman, The Seventh Seal
Keeping up appearances is a very important activity in religion; in fact, maintaining tattered illusions is its main activity. - Richard Wade, on Friendlyatheist.com
We make an idol of our fear and call it God. -Ingmar Bergman, The Seventh Seal
- black bart
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Re: Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
Roy Hunter wrote:Ubi Dubius wrote:Black Bart: You don't have to do everything in the thread. It's optional. If you do plan to continue with the next few suggestions, please let me know what Army barracks you pick, I'd like to be there to hand out my business card. It should be be fun.
I know that in the USA Bart would be arrested in very short order for that sort of behaviour, but here in the UK he's more likely to get a grant from The Arts Council, or his own show on BBC3.

The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
- ken worley
- King of the Pervs
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Re: Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
Tigger_the_Wing wrote:ken worley wrote:Print the post, and tape it to thigh, next to genitals....That'll help.
I'll be funny when you try to remove it and rip out loads of hair?
No..Well, that too..but.
I merely suggested that the weak joke, which only produces a mild smirk, or at most, pained chuckle, will be boosted by taping the printed post to his naked pelvic region, which almost invariably inspires gales of laughter from all who see it.
teamwork....what its all about.


- daftbeaker
- Help! I've fallen and can't get curry.
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Re: Fun Stuff to Do When You're Bored
ken worley wrote:Tigger_the_Wing wrote:ken worley wrote:Print the post, and tape it to thigh, next to genitals....That'll help.
I'll be funny when you try to remove it and rip out loads of hair?
No..Well, that too..but.
I merely suggested that the weak joke, which only produces a mild smirk, or at most, pained chuckle, will be boosted by taping the printed post to his naked pelvic region, which almost invariably inspires gales of laughter from all who see it.
teamwork....what its all about.
That actually made me giggle (as opposed to the original pun which was, quite frankly, sh*t)
Anyway, my suggestion for boredom relief is to speak about yourself in the 3rd person - (Walks into restaurant) "Have you got a reservation?"
"No but Daftbeaker would like a table for one"
It works best using your full name when people tend to look at you like you've escaped from somewhere important

Too old to give up but too young to rest - Pete Townshend
I would rather be a rising ape than a falling angel - Sir Terry Pratchett
I would rather be a rising ape than a falling angel - Sir Terry Pratchett
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