Kimchi Hot Dogs!!

Foods to make in praise of our Blessed FSM, pasta based and otherwise.

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Kimchi Hot Dogs!!

Postby PantyGnawer » Tue Oct 30, 2007 5:37 am

I tried Kimchi years back, but had forgotten it. As I have grown to love all things spicy and all things fermented, I remembered it. I wanted it. I sought out every grocery store in town to no avail. I forgot.

One day I bought a Nathans hot dog and loaded it up with nothing but spicy mustard and more saurkraut than should be allowed by law. Halfway through that dog it dawned on me. Kimchi is just spicy funky saurkraut!

I still could not find the Kimchi. The Korean government issued a new set of standards for marketing kimchi. They proposed a dualscale.
Kimchi would be rated 1-5 on a scale of spiciness and 1-5 on a scale of fermentedness. My mouth watered, but I could still not find the kimchi.

Recently, on a trip to the town of my birth, I was in a new grocery store with my mother. On a whim I checked out the asian foods section and they had it!

I just wolfed down a hot dog smothered in spicy mustard and kimchi. I have to say that it was without a doubt the best dog that I have ever eaten. This could change the world as we know it!

But this is only the beginning. My kimchi is weak. I'd say about a 1 on the spicy scale and about a 1 on the fermented scale.

I dream of a hot dog so stinky and so spicy that it cannot be prepared or consumed indoors. A hot dog that cannot come within 100 feet of pregnant women. I dream of a hot dog so stinky that it would make French octagenarian cheesemakers cower in the corner. I dream of a hot dog so spicy that the ghosts of Aztec gods wince at the mere smell of it.

Ohhh, I have drooled upon myself.

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Postby ken worley » Tue Oct 30, 2007 11:51 am

Do you mean to say you desire a hot dog so smelly that its odor assails you, like a giant, stinky fist?

...So spicy you will be prohibited after eating it from taking your own anus aboard a commercial airliner?

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(PG's dream will probably go through him like molten lava through a Slip 'N' Slide®....and alter the color of his porcelain bath fixtures.)


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Postby PantyGnawer » Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:44 pm

ken worley wrote:(PG's dream will probably go through him like molten lava through a Slip 'N' Slide®....and alter the color of his porcelain bath fixtures.)

Funny you should mention that. Just before checking this page, I had one of the most traumatic BMs of my life. I'm still recovering. My cat seems traumatized and wont even look me in the eye.

My anus hangs loose like sleeve of wizard.

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Postby Jely » Mon Nov 19, 2007 12:47 am

Coming from a Korean father, I've learned that there's not much in this world that can't be made better by adding kimchi to it.

RAmen to the kimchi!

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Re: Kimchi Hot Dogs!!

Postby Thor » Thu Aug 14, 2008 10:41 pm

To spice it up I add a tablespoon of ground dried chiplote peppers to this recipe: ... icle=17609

I generally make a double batch every 2-3 weeks and let it ferment a bit longer the recipe calls for.
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Re: Kimchi Hot Dogs!!

Postby PastaLovingIdealist » Thu Sep 18, 2008 1:27 pm

Funny you should mention this. One of the more common funny stories in my family is about my mother needing kimchi to make spaghetti palatable.
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Pastafarian Eucharist

Postby Andrey Kurtenkov » Fri Sep 19, 2008 6:19 am

We have decided to receive the Holy Pastafarian Sacrament with instant noodles with kimchi flavour.
En mateno de hela ero, per la forĉo de espero, venas viglaj pastafaroj, vere fluganta gefratoj.
Ah, vi flugu, Nia Monstro! Vin observas milionoj serĉiantaj vermiĉeloj, per espero kaj per amo.
Kaj la bona pastafaro post la malfermita pordo, trovos la eternan vivon en pastafara paradizo!
Pastafarier aller Länder, vereinigt euch!
Българска пастафарианска църква (Bulgarian Pastafarian Church)
- за прослава на Макаронения Бог :worship: :fsm_float:

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Re: Kimchi Hot Dogs!!

Postby Karban » Sun Sep 28, 2008 1:40 am

Kimchi ....... nice. as a veteran oktoberfest attendee and organiser I can relate to a good sauerkraut - never tried kimchi but would love to - living in the boondocks limits food availability but I might try making my own.

A good hot dog rocks and spicy mustard is a must - try mixing the mustards and other sauces - open bun, insert sauces, add snag (sausage) - preferably weisswurst, then top with kraut of choice <<professor Gimmelstop is my favourite>. salt and pepper to taste

then destroy the universe
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Postby wobastax » Sat Dec 27, 2008 7:56 pm

My anus hangs loose like sleeve of wizard.

enough with the anus talk people, this is topic should be building my appetite, not destroying it... but still, i love kim chi
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Re: Kimchi Hot Dogs!!

Postby Arkaeon » Sat Feb 05, 2011 4:51 am

Kimchi, in broad terms, being basically similar in concept to european antipasto/sauerkraut, but used as more bulk servings. You want to make wide/long slices as will fit in your jars, not shredded or chopped.

--any thin-sliced firm vegetables you like, typically cabbage based, but added carrot, beet, daikon, leek, apple, cucumber, citrus, onion, horseradish, etc is fine. Almost anything you would pickle, you can kimchi.
--very thin sliced fresh ginger, or dried ground ginger can be ok too
--salt or flavored brine (and/or sugar too) and/or vinegar in proportion to how pickle-ish you want to make it (i've seen pure water and 1/2-vinegar versions)
--hot pepper powders/sauces (store bought vietnamese hot red pepper paste/sauce with seeds is fine)
--garlic, sesame, coriander, turmeric, or other spices/oils to taste. You could even crush a vitamin C tablet in there
--option: soy, fish, or worchestershire sauces if you want to funky it up a bit more
--option: beef, fish, shrimp, or shellfish stock or brine; or bits/slices can be added for protein
--option: you can use some sake or white wine for some/all of the liquid if you like

--You stuff the sliced raw veggies fairly tight in jar(s), add the liquid to cover, then keep it in the fridge or bury it in the back yard (traditional) for a couple or a few weeks until it is pliable but not mushy. Burying was used before modern refrigerators, and obviously brings in some risks/techniques for not killing yourself with botulism and other microbes. The fridge is fine, although I've known some people who swore by burying, and their kimchi was awesome.
--Don't be skimpy on the spices! This is supposed to clear your respiratory system a bit.
--There may be some natural fermentation going on in the pickling process. Cabbage and fruits can both support this.
--If you're paying more than a few dollars/euros for a quart of kimchi, you might as well make it. It's cheap stuff but really helps keep up the metabolism in cold weather. Make it spicy! Kimchi and other spicy foods can help reduce your susceptibility to viruses.
--Hot peppers are from Central America, so they weren't included in kimchi recipes until the last few centuries. Chili peppers have conquered most of the world already, being some of the most aggressively colonial species in the world. Few human cultures have been able to resist their relentless assault of flavor, nutrition, and general stimulation.

--Kimchi is a broad class of pickled/fermented/preserved foods. There is no single recipe. It is as variable as the availabilities and preferences of the areas it is made, using whatever local/family ingredients are favored. Do whatever you want/like with the variations. As long as there are enough preservative ingredients included to avoid rotting or contamination before you eat it, it's a go.
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Re: Kimchi Hot Dogs!!

Postby Ubi Dubium » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:11 pm

I have a Korean sister-in-law. Of the three supermarkets closest to my home, two of them are Korean.

All this being said, I loathe kimchi. But the red pepper they use in it is great, and you can purchase it in five pound bags. It's not as hot as it looks, and you can dump rather large quantities of it in other dishes for lots of flavor with only a moderate amount of heat.
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