Epic RolePlaying Battle Game

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

*Stabs Zank and RRR in the face with fish skeleton*

*Leaps high into the air, performs a triple somersault, pulls two katana from behind back, lands back down, slices both Zank and RRR's legs off*

*Zank and RRR writhe on the floor like a pair of weevils*

[Zankou 2.0]

You can't say what happens to us, only that you attack us.


*takes the opportunity of distraction to wrest control of the Triforce back from the Reverend*

*dodges katana stikes*

*summons a unholy army of the undead*


(btw, the "demonic satan worshipiing atheist" was sarcasm. I would hope you would have recognised it.)

[Zankou 2.0]

EDIT: *while no one else is moving, Zankou takes the opportunity to command the army of the undead to feast upon his enemies*

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

And that isn't saying what's going to happen to us?

*Joins both katana together like Cloud does, does awesome acrobatics and cuts off the head of every undead creature*

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

I think I'm resigned from playing so long as magic and similar things are allowed, but I'll be happy to arbitrate.

He only commanded the army to feast upon his enemies. Nowhere does it say they succeeded.

[Zankou 2.0]

Ah, but you're here, so I have no reservations in attempting to kill you. Since you won't fight back, you'll be assumed dead.




*takes aim at the Reverend's head wth a composite bow*

*releases the bowstring*

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

*Relies on the power of impartiality to protect him...and it does*

[Zankou 2.0]

*Relies on the power of impartiality to protect him...and it does*

*promises to use magic only in dire situations?*

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

*performs an emergency appendectomy on one of the zombies and throws the engorged and decaying appendix at Zankou*

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

*Rolls cannon into arena, fires at RRR*

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

*ducks behind pile of zombies and watches as the cannonball bursts them into flying piles of blood and guts, falling on everyone*

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

*Fires another round at now-unprotected RRR*

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

*laughs as Turtle Holmes attempts to light the gore soaked fuse, and fails*

[Zankou 2.0]

*laughs as he explains that cannon fuses carry their own oxygen, and can actually stay alight under water*

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

*laughs as he explains that the toxicity and supernatural decaying power of zombie gore will cause every non-living thing it touches to decay, including cannon wicks with self contained oxygen*