PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

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black bart
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby black bart » Wed Sep 10, 2008 9:19 am

Dennis Weevily's pen moves more swiftly than than the glue on Walktheplank's Wig. Hot on the tail of his last novel comes this epic tale of adventure on the high seas. The Duke de Richbastid sails to a remote island in the Pacific where he encounters a lost tribe and a creature from the very pit of hell itself. This book has everything, human sacrifice, women in torn clothing, a big ship, treacherous seas, exotic locations and a truly massive goat:

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Don't read it on the train or people may laugh at you.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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The Black Spot
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby The Black Spot » Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:40 am

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR


From the Pen of Dennis Weevily, Esq.

Dear Sir,

I have noticed with some interest your reviews of my more recent novels. I must, however, take issue with your review of my most recent opus "Island of the Giant Killer Devil Goat".

I note with some distress the last line of your review. You say "Don't read it on the train or people may laugh at you."

How dare you Sir! The very idea that a work of mine - mine!- would be read by the sort of impoverished cretinous lout who is forced to travel on a train is unutterably disgusting. Indeed, I was physically sick at the thought of rough, working class fingers touching one of my books.

Unless you retract this vile slur, I shall be forced to use my knowledge of the occult to call up the Great Dark Lord of the Fish Slice who will relentlously sabotage any future dinner parties you may have.

Yours faithfully

Dennis Weevily

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black bart
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby black bart » Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:00 am

The Black Spot wrote:LETTERS TO THE EDITOR


From the Pen of Dennis Weevily, Esq.

Dear Sir,

I have noticed with some interest your reviews of my more recent novels. I must, however, take issue with your review of my most recent opus "Island of the Giant Killer Devil Goat".

I note with some distress the last line of your review. You say "Don't read it on the train or people may laugh at you."

How dare you Sir! The very idea that a work of mine - mine!- would be read by the sort of impoverished cretinous lout who is forced to travel on a train is unutterably disgusting. Indeed, I was physically sick at the thought of rough, working class fingers touching one of my books.

Unless you retract this vile slur, I shall be forced to use my knowledge of the occult to call up the Great Dark Lord of the Fish Slice who will relentlously sabotage any future dinner parties you may have.

Yours faithfully

Dennis Weevily


Oh crikey...anyone know how to draw a pentangle?
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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pieces o'nine
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby pieces o'nine » Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:51 pm

black bart wrote:Oh crikey...anyone know how to draw a pentangle?


Don' werry, mayte. If 'e spells thee way 'e spells [relentlously] ye've got nuffink t'be conCERNed habowt.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

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black bart
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby black bart » Thu Sep 11, 2008 5:16 am

pieces o'nine wrote:
black bart wrote:Oh crikey...anyone know how to draw a pentangle?


Don' werry, mayte. If 'e spells thee way 'e spells [relentlously] ye've got nuffink t'be conCERNed habowt.


Talkin o CERN an Large Heavy Canon Ball colliders...everyone finks it all went orf wivout an hitch...

But I has got news fer yers...

Sorry mateys, we've bin propelled into a parallel universe...not only did Hingland win a football match against Croatia last noight but arter twenty three Capn's Delights I wuz burstin fer a tinkle...I went in the Benbow's privvy ta relieve meslf and when I came out I were in Madame Fifi's boudoire!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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tanguerra
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby tanguerra » Thu Sep 11, 2008 9:03 am

pieces o'nine wrote:
black bart wrote:Oh crikey...anyone know how to draw a pentangle?


Yaaargghh! I've ol Toothless Kate on thee case. She be castin the runes as we speak. Hold on ter yer tri-corner hats (and ye sou' westers).
Aaarrrrgggh!

Reed me booke. It's got pirates innit http:\\how-to-find-love.com

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black bart
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby black bart » Fri Sep 12, 2008 5:48 am

Free Pirate ouija board wiv next months Playbilge:

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The Black Spot
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby The Black Spot » Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:37 am

black bart wrote:Free Pirate ouija board wiv next months Playbilge:

Image


Let me get this straight. Ye flogs us a weeji board to contact the spirit world, gets us all excited about talkin' to those people who's snuffed it, an' then ye writes "Dead men tell no tales" bang in the middle o' it!

What a let down!

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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes » Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:35 am

Aye... but that be bittir than wun o' Planky's tales.
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.

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pieces o'nine
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby pieces o'nine » Sun Sep 14, 2008 3:48 pm

Playbilge Booke Clubbe be orferin a speshul on this block-buster fer those blaggarrrds wot loikes t'reade sech fings:

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I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

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DaveL
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby DaveL » Sun Sep 14, 2008 11:02 pm

YArrrrr...

This one suggests if ye have little ships, ye might end up having a big fight. Best keep 'em Big O'id say.

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Detective TurtleHolmes
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes » Tue Sep 16, 2008 3:47 am

Look insoide? Look insoide? Now, that be in ravver bad taste, doncha fink?
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.

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black bart
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby black bart » Tue Sep 16, 2008 6:06 am

It be the job o Microbiologists to do just that matey...remember that when ye be considering a career away from the sea. :?
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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DaveL
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby DaveL » Tue Sep 16, 2008 7:52 am

YArrrrr...

I wouldn't waste me time lookin into little ships. Not worth the 'effort' really.
Loosely Canonising and keeping it free for all Pastafarians
http://www.loose-canon.info/

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The Black Spot
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby The Black Spot » Tue Sep 16, 2008 8:14 am

Reminds me o' a chap I bumped into the other day. 'Ee were sellin' "A Ship In A Bottle."

Dirty bastid.


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