PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Oi hears she was a bit of an Irn Bru guzzler as well!

[DavidH]

Rumour was, she did various things to Henry that pleased him greatly but did not contribute to getting a son.

[black bart]

Fat Henry was a big turn off if you ask me.

[DaveL]

It's been a while...but 'ere we go again!!

MISS DECEMBER

Name: Muriel Bent-whistle

Occupation: North Pole toy maker (with a penchant for making surface to air missiles).

Likes: Hangin' out in the North Pole with a big hairy ugly white beared geezer, that looks like a Coca Cola advert.

Gettin' photo bombed by big Rasta dudes...

Dislikes: Flying anywhere over Portsmouth near DaveL's anti-aircraft facilities.

Where will you be be in 5 years time?: Well if the big fat hairy bloke doesn't cut me more pay, O'ill be opening me own anti aircraft business in the North Pole. Yarrr...come Christmas, that fat bugger won't make it off the ground!!!

[DaveL]

Yarrrr...in the midst of yet more 3rd party attempts attempts to publish the Loose Canon...we'll keep ye smilin'...'ere's Miss January for ye...

MISS JANUARY



Name: Kimberley O'Farrell

Occupation: Saucy Wench

Likes: Makin' stuff to enhance your sausage, Worcestershire, Hangin out at Big Rons

Dislikes: Vegetarian Hippie types, Fasting for Lent

Where will you be in 5 years time?: Well if me sauce business takes off Oi be lookin to enhance everyone's sausage from Portsmouth to the West Indies. No sausages will be left unscathed!

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

oi lykes Janurey an' sawse , rrrrrrrrrrrrrr .

[DaveL]

YArrr...

It nearly be February...close ye eyes Nefyoo!

[ChowMein]

Yarrrr...in the midst of yet more 3rd party attempts attempts to publish the Loose Canon...we'll keep ye smilin'...'ere's Miss January for ye...

MISS JANUARY



Name: Kimberley O'Farrell

Occupation: Saucy Wench

Likes: Makin' stuff to enhance your sausage, Worcestershire, Hangin out at Big Rons

Dislikes: Vegetarian Hippie types, Fasting for Lent

Where will you be in 5 years time?: Well if me sauce business takes off Oi be lookin to enhance everyone's sausage from Portsmouth to the West Indies. No sausages will be left unscathed!

Yarr

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

dat me nu sittarr puddy tat rrrrrrrrrrrr

[DaveL]

MISS FEBRUARY



Name: Georgette Christie

Occupation: Fishmonger and Sea Food Model

Likes: Ice cubes, impersinatin' mermaids, wearin' prawns (ie shrimp) in her hair, fallin' asleep in a pile of crustaceans.

Dislikes: Hot weather, things that go off in the sun, brushin me prawny hair at night

Where will you be in 5 years time?: Well if the sun gets any hotter, I'll be lookin to marry and have lots of little pirates to keep the global warmin' at bay. Me ice cubes have been meltin' alot lately.

Oi may need to hinvest in a good deodorant. When the lads get a whiff of me, they take orf.

[ET, the Extra Terrestrial]

MISS FEBRUARY



Name: Georgette Christie

Occupation: Fishmonger and Sea Food Model

Likes: Ice cubes, impersinatin' mermaids, wearin' prawns (ie shrimp) in her hair, fallin' asleep in a pile of crustaceans.

Dislikes: Hot weather, things that go off in the sun, brushin me prawny hair at night

Where will you be in 5 years time?: Well if the sun gets any hotter, I'll be lookin to marry and have lots of little pirates to keep the global warmin' at bay. Me ice cubes have been meltin' alot lately.

Oi may need to hinvest in a good deodorant. When the lads get a whiff of me, they take orf.

Oi dunno, Davey me lad. Looks loike she has crabs.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

Iz et Januwary yet ?

[DaveL]

Prawn to be wild!

[StayThirstyMyAguila]

Again I find myself questioning why this thread exists . . .
Well, unlike Nef Yoo, I actually follow the main idea of a thread when I post, so here it goes:

Is this one of those magazines with aaaaaaaaaall those little cards in it?
You open up your subscription and all those little cards fall out.
And most of them come in your subscription package, ASKING YOU TO SUBSCRIBE!!!!!!

It better not have those little cards in it . . . aarrrrggghh . . .

EDIT: Also, I'm told I overuse, " . . . ". Is that true?

[DaveL]

Again I find myself questioning why this thread exists . . .
Well, unlike Nef Yoo, I actually follow the main idea of a thread when I post, so here it goes:

Is this one of those magazines with aaaaaaaaaall those little cards in it?
You open up your subscription and all those little cards fall out.
And most of them come in your subscription package, ASKING YOU TO SUBSCRIBE!!!!!!

It better not have those little cards in it . . . aarrrrggghh . . .

EDIT: Also, I'm told I overuse, " . . . ". Is that true?

Yarrr...

Do ye know what a lads mag is? Your a pirate arn't ye?