Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved here

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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black bart
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved here

Postby black bart » Mon Nov 08, 2010 7:09 am

Dear Auntie Blackarse

Where exactlee be yer Kidney?...thee shyppes sawbones is onlee good fer tidyin up thee outsides of a body wiv a saw...he knows nuffin about thee inside...strap me vitals.

Happens he knows where all me rum went though.

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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved here

Postby kaioshin00 » Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:59 am

Deer Auntie Blackbeard,

Tis bin many a fortnite since oi took to the 'igh seas, as oi've been frolokin' with de landlubbers doin landlubbery things.

'As dere been any teknological advannces in da past few 'ears? Oi got wind o' sum toipe of 3D eyepatch or summat?

Thank'ee,

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Auntie Blackbeard
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved here

Postby Auntie Blackbeard » Mon Nov 15, 2010 11:26 am

Dear Cap'n kaioshin00

Those clever engineers at Scumsoft did try out a 3D imagin eye patch. The pilot scheme rolled out last month wiv a 3D version of Big Brenda does Dallas...hunfortunatelee thee 3d effect caused thee audience to panic and much of Portsmouth City Centre was destroyed.

Other than that we're workin on an heverlastin Lollypop for Nef Yoo.

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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved here

Postby Qwertyuiopasd » Mon Nov 15, 2010 1:33 pm

Deer aunty blackberr.

As yew be kowin', Oi been in th' busienss o' getting a pirate radio show, o' a spesific timeslot likes, wot no one else be usin'. Oi've inquired t' me superiors aboot t'all, but oi keep not hearin' back, blasted pirates. Oi been tryin' ta go aboot it such likes that Oi won't 'ave th' howle o' th' british fleet knockin't me door t'night, but th' propsect o' juss comandeerizing th' station when none others be usin' it seems mighty appealitizing t' me roights about now.

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Mad Willyum Bonney
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney » Tue Dec 14, 2010 2:02 am

Arrrgh Anti Backbump !

Duz ye knowest wot yeer stinky nef yoo bin ep to !?
He be pesterin' passerbys in fron' ove thee Scurvy Dawg , offring up sips ove appel blud fer a farthin' eech !
Thee stuff smells loike piss !
Tastes loike et too !
Howeffer ye dont taste thet bad affer a wile.

Culd see iffin ye git thee wee blighter ta lower his price ?

yer effer luvin' Willy .
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bacon
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby bacon » Tue Dec 14, 2010 2:45 pm

Dear Auntie Blackbeard,

I haf boin sick fer ovargh a week noiw. Me sawbonez tolf me ta take these huge poink pillz, but they don seem ta be doin' anyfing. Wut do ye sugguest oi do ta feel bettargh?

Urs,

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Auntie Blackbeard
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Auntie Blackbeard » Tue Dec 14, 2010 6:12 pm

bacon wrote:Dear Auntie Blackbeard,

I haf boin sick fer ovargh a week noiw. Me sawbonez tolf me ta take these huge poink pillz, but they don seem ta be doin' anyfing. Wut do ye sugguest oi do ta feel bettargh?

Urs,

bacon

Me lassie!

Them pink pillz duzna do nuffin fer ye. I recommen bloo pillz insted. Ifn' they duz nuffin fer ye, givvum to yer fella insted. Ye'll be roight az rain in no toime.
Ye Crows Nest be open fer business me dearies.

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Auntie Blackbeard
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Auntie Blackbeard » Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:40 pm

black bart wrote:Dear Auntie Blackarse

Where exactlee be yer Kidney?...thee shyppes sawbones is onlee good fer tidyin up thee outsides of a body wiv a saw...he knows nuffin about thee inside...strap me vitals.

Happens he knows where all me rum went though.


Deer Cap'n Ijjit <

Bart ye be a daff git , fankly oi dint noe ye had a kid ta begin wiff .
Juss how much munny be ye arskin' fer ransum ?

Anywaze ile tells ye this wunce !
Yeer kids knees ARR! juss above thee shins .

Oi hope this 'elps .

Now sod off !
Ye Crows Nest be open fer business me dearies.

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black bart
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart » Wed Dec 15, 2010 6:44 am

:furious:

I fink we needs a new Hagonee Aunt mateys...off thee plank wiv thee old bat!

Wait a mo...Aunty knows all that stuff about thee hincident in Jamaica wiv thee Govnor's daughters an thee mud bath...amongst uvver things :shocked:

:drinking: That's lovlee Aunty I shall hatend to me Kid's Knees at once...polish em up a bit loik fer hinspekshun.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Auntie Blackbeard
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Auntie Blackbeard » Wed Dec 15, 2010 6:13 pm

Mad Willyum Bonney wrote:Arrrgh Anti Backbump !

Duz ye knowest wot yeer stinky nef yoo bin ep to !?
He be pesterin' passerbys in fron' ove thee Scurvy Dawg , offring up sips ove appel blud fer a farthin' eech !
Thee stuff smells loike piss !
Tastes loike et too !
Howeffer ye dont taste thet bad affer a wile.

Culd see iffin ye git thee wee blighter ta lower his price ?

yer effer luvin' Willy .


Deer Capin No Taste Buds ,

O' corse oi noes wot thee wee snot be doin !
Oi be thee harrrbourmaster taint oi !?
An 'e be doin a foine job , me treashore chess never bin so full of goodys ,an sum foine rotgut he bin perducing .

An ye have sum nerve arskin' fer a price slashin' !
Cut into me proffits will ye !
Well ye kin fergit bout it ! Now sod off afore a give ye a slashin' .

XOX , yer anty B
Ye Crows Nest be open fer business me dearies.

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black bart
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart » Thu Dec 16, 2010 7:10 am

Dear Auntie Blackpants

Can we ave yer permishun ta let nef Yoo join thee next stoodent protest against thee nasty coalishun's gyant Tuishan fees?

We be opin ta send Nef Yoo to thee hadvanced college of Buccaneering but wiv the rise in fees I will ave ta ransack thee hentire West Indies to pay for his keep.

Yours Sincerely

BB
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Ravi Oli
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Ravi Oli » Wed Feb 09, 2011 9:28 am

Dear Auntie BlackMerkin
I 'eard young Nef bein' taunted by some scruffy street urchins t'other day.
" I'm a pirate! I'm a pirate! " 'e'd been proudly boastin'.
Them crewl lil buggers cried "Well if youse is a pirate wares ya buccanears."
Sharp as a tack Nef sez "On me buckin' 'ead... ya blind or sumthin'? "

BB aint just thinkin' 'bout beaches n crickit...
Be good fer Nef ta go to Buccaneering School wiv BB as chaperone of course an' I kin carry the luggage an' 'elp wiv the ransackin'...
Send lawyers, guns and money...

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Auntie Blackbeard
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Auntie Blackbeard » Thu Feb 10, 2011 12:03 pm

Dear Ravi

If ye thinks I be goin to let that littl blaggard Nef Yoo loose on a Caribbean island I... :fsm_yarr:

Now I thinks on it, tis an hexellent plan matey...

We sails im to Barbados (an Black Bart whilst we're at it) an see if we can get a good price fer em at thee market.
Ye Crows Nest be open fer business me dearies.

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Ravi Oli
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Ravi Oli » Thu Feb 10, 2011 4:58 pm

Auntie Blackbeard wrote:We sails im to Barbados (an Black Bart whilst we're at it) an see if we can get a good price fer em at thee market.


Arrrr I be reckonin' we'd be fetchin' a loverly bunch o' cocunuts fer the pair!
Send lawyers, guns and money...

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Auntie Blackbeard
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Auntie Blackbeard » Thu Feb 17, 2011 7:03 am

I'd be appy to accept anyfing fer that pair o rascals.
Ye Crows Nest be open fer business me dearies.


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