New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum
Moderator: All Things Mods
- black bart
- Resident Weevil
- Posts: 24540
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
- Location: London
New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum
This is not a comprehensive list of the courses on offer, please call in at the Admiral Benbow to discuss your child's needs with a member of staff.
Principal and lecturer in Dugong Studies: Dave L
Languages: Professors Mad Willium Bonney and Dan (dat haole dude)
Death Threats and Kidnapping ARRRGHTEC Stage 1: The Black Spot
Graphic Art and Foundation Forgery Studies: Pieces of Nine
Criminology and Self Defence: Detective TurtleHolmes
The Art of Seduction ARRGHTEC Stage 1 and Tea Drinking for the Perplexed: Reverend Rowan Redbeard
Science, Quantum Mechanics and Dork Matter: Zankou
Creative Writing and Glue Strength Technology: Walktheplank
Sailing for beginners...Sinking for beginners: Cap'n Cronan
Food Technology: Black Bart
Principal and lecturer in Dugong Studies: Dave L
Languages: Professors Mad Willium Bonney and Dan (dat haole dude)
Death Threats and Kidnapping ARRRGHTEC Stage 1: The Black Spot
Graphic Art and Foundation Forgery Studies: Pieces of Nine
Criminology and Self Defence: Detective TurtleHolmes
The Art of Seduction ARRGHTEC Stage 1 and Tea Drinking for the Perplexed: Reverend Rowan Redbeard
Science, Quantum Mechanics and Dork Matter: Zankou
Creative Writing and Glue Strength Technology: Walktheplank
Sailing for beginners...Sinking for beginners: Cap'n Cronan
Food Technology: Black Bart
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
Re: New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum
Other courses and lectures include
Economics (I) – Capitalism: Rainswept
Economics (II) – Capitalism: Rainswept
Economics (III) – Capitalism: Rainswept
Economics (IV) – Capitalism: Rainswept
Physical Education (Push-ups) and Intoxication: PantyGnawer
Moustache and Motorcycle Maintenance: Warlord of Elephants
Alternate Lifestyles – ‘Loving and Living with Crustaceans’: Wawizzle
Economics (I) – Capitalism: Rainswept
Economics (II) – Capitalism: Rainswept
Economics (III) – Capitalism: Rainswept
Economics (IV) – Capitalism: Rainswept
Physical Education (Push-ups) and Intoxication: PantyGnawer
Moustache and Motorcycle Maintenance: Warlord of Elephants
Alternate Lifestyles – ‘Loving and Living with Crustaceans’: Wawizzle
-
- Stripmeister
- Posts: 2181
- Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:30 pm
- Location: under da wing of koloa nui..
Re: New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum
mustn't forget:
Physical Education-Cardiovascular Fitness/Eye-Hand Coordination:Knuckles O' Shuffle
Physical Education-Crunchy/Thumpy Sports:Elvalia
Debate (including the use of the dreaded "Finger of Logic"):Capellini
Physical Education-Cardiovascular Fitness/Eye-Hand Coordination:Knuckles O' Shuffle
Physical Education-Crunchy/Thumpy Sports:Elvalia
Debate (including the use of the dreaded "Finger of Logic"):Capellini
'Oli no au i na pono FSM e
E hau'oli na 'opio o FSM nei
'Oli e! 'Oli e!
Mau ke aloha, no FSM
E hau'oli na 'opio o FSM nei
'Oli e! 'Oli e!
Mau ke aloha, no FSM
- pieces o'nine
- Look Upon Her Works, Ye Migyt, and Despair!
- Posts: 8074
- Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 9:21 am
- Location: Ocean o'Sand
- Contact:
Re: New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum
Don't fergit thee hextra cur ickular hack tivities!
Pyrate Scouts Internashunal 'as a chapter at thee Portsmouth Public High School, under thee eegull oi ov Portsmouth Pyrate Crewe Master, Cap’n Baird Saggingsails.

Ovver helecktivs inclood:
Brewin 101, 201, 301, 401: Cap'n Bluenose
Still Mayntenants: Cap'n Bluenose
Rum Runnin: Cap'n Bluenose
Pyrate Scouts Internashunal 'as a chapter at thee Portsmouth Public High School, under thee eegull oi ov Portsmouth Pyrate Crewe Master, Cap’n Baird Saggingsails.

Ovver helecktivs inclood:
Brewin 101, 201, 301, 401: Cap'n Bluenose
Still Mayntenants: Cap'n Bluenose
Rum Runnin: Cap'n Bluenose
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
Re: New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum
black bart wrote:This is not a comprehensive list of the courses on offer, please call in at the Admiral Benbow to discuss your child's needs with a member of staff.
Principal and lecturer in Dugong Studies: Dave L
Dear Students and Teachers,
Welcome to Portsmouth Pirate Public School. If you have any queries or complaints, please contact me in writing (with 50 dubloon note enclosed).
Yours Sincerely,
Principal Bill 'Dirk in the Ribs' Cullinane
PS: Where are the bleedin strikethrough characters on this bleedin board?
Loosely Canonising and keeping it free for all Pastafarians
http://www.loose-canon.info/
http://www.loose-canon.info/
- pieces o'nine
- Look Upon Her Works, Ye Migyt, and Despair!
- Posts: 8074
- Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 9:21 am
- Location: Ocean o'Sand
- Contact:
Re: New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum
Oi finks PG snuck in an took 'em wiv thee rum...
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
Re: New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum
Yes, the faculty at The New Portsmouth Public Pirate School offers training beyond the strictly ‘legal’ variety, preparing its students to excel in any lifestyle they might choose. Why, many graduates are still at large!
BTW, Bart, Professor Zankou would like a word with you about your spelling of the word ‘curriculum’.
BTW, Bart, Professor Zankou would like a word with you about your spelling of the word ‘curriculum’.
- Zankou 2.0
- Purveyor of Triviality
- Posts: 9297
- Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2007 6:14 pm
- Location: Ontario, Canada
- Contact:
Re: New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum
Indeed, I would.
The word is "FAIL".
You are it, sir.
The word is "FAIL".
You are it, sir.
--Zankou II
The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.
"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein
The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.
"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein
- pieces o'nine
- Look Upon Her Works, Ye Migyt, and Despair!
- Posts: 8074
- Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 9:21 am
- Location: Ocean o'Sand
- Contact:
Re: New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum
Edd wrote:BTW, Bart, Professor Zankou would like a word with you about your spelling of the word ‘curriculum’.
Arrrgh, oi'm sorry t'hinform ye that yer misteakin thair, Edd.
Staff at thee Portsmouth Public Pyrate Skool no awl-two-well that hit be a "dogge-eate-dogge" werlde outsoide our scurvy-league walls. Hence, Cur-iculum.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Paye no attenshun t'thee perfesser of "Science an Dork Matter" behoind thee Cur-tin, hex-poundin on spellin. Hit baint unner 'is jurisdickshun.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
- PantyGnawer
- Spam Bob Grill Pants
- Posts: 2444
- Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 9:17 pm
- Location: Ask yer Mom.
Re: New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum
First off, who do oi talk to abut the 5 gal Culligan rum cooler what being hempty in tha teachers lounge? Halso we be hout of dem paper cone cups.
Next, the scheduling for me Phys Ed class conflicts with whun Oi loiks tah tend to me weevil garden. Could Oi switch wit Wawiz and teach the ‘Loving and Living with Crustaceans’ class? He did more pushups than me and I have more crab experience.
Just a reminder: Our first PTA meeting (Pirate Teachers Association) will be held on the 15th. Pieces is in charge of snacks. (Please remember those with weevil allergies! We don't need another incident!)
Next, the scheduling for me Phys Ed class conflicts with whun Oi loiks tah tend to me weevil garden. Could Oi switch wit Wawiz and teach the ‘Loving and Living with Crustaceans’ class? He did more pushups than me and I have more crab experience.
Just a reminder: Our first PTA meeting (Pirate Teachers Association) will be held on the 15th. Pieces is in charge of snacks. (Please remember those with weevil allergies! We don't need another incident!)
- pieces o'nine
- Look Upon Her Works, Ye Migyt, and Despair!
- Posts: 8074
- Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 9:21 am
- Location: Ocean o'Sand
- Contact:
Re: New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum
Oi am *NOT* in charrrge ov thee snax, PG. That be unner Bart's dooteas. Pay attenshun.
As fer thee hunforchunat Weevil Allergy Hincident, Staff 'as no simpafee fer those wot cant gess wot thee hingreedy yents be in "Weevil Bicuits", fer thee love ov Cronan.
As fer thee hunforchunat Weevil Allergy Hincident, Staff 'as no simpafee fer those wot cant gess wot thee hingreedy yents be in "Weevil Bicuits", fer thee love ov Cronan.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
- PantyGnawer
- Spam Bob Grill Pants
- Posts: 2444
- Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 9:17 pm
- Location: Ask yer Mom.
Re: New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum
Just of note:
Pieces will be givin a short speakin at our first PTA meeting about theee hupcomin three day simposium on bilge cleanin for wut she as hagmanimously hoffered tah teech........ for free.
Classes hoffered whil be:
Balast rock scraping 2203(can be substituted for a humanities credit)
Bilge scum removal 1101(counts as 3 lab hours towards a Bio degree)
Bilge scum collection 1202 (offers brownie points to students hin any of black barts classes)
Huncohincidentally.... Tha cafeteria menu for tha day following the simposium has been changed from "Barts Maggot Fritters and Fish head stew" to "Barts bilge scum stew and surprise".
Pieces will be givin a short speakin at our first PTA meeting about theee hupcomin three day simposium on bilge cleanin for wut she as hagmanimously hoffered tah teech........ for free.
Classes hoffered whil be:
Balast rock scraping 2203(can be substituted for a humanities credit)
Bilge scum removal 1101(counts as 3 lab hours towards a Bio degree)
Bilge scum collection 1202 (offers brownie points to students hin any of black barts classes)
Huncohincidentally.... Tha cafeteria menu for tha day following the simposium has been changed from "Barts Maggot Fritters and Fish head stew" to "Barts bilge scum stew and surprise".
Re: New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum
Dear Mr PG,
I have heard rumours that you have recently stole of of our school rum suppplies. Could you please return the entire stash to my office at once.
Our security parrot has seen everything and keeps mentionin something about Panty's being gnawed.
Can you please bring 2 large tankards +rum stash + 2 of Mdme Fifi's finest 'catering staff' with you, as we must discuss 'school matters' immediately.
Yours totally uncorrupted.
Principal Bill Cullinane
I have heard rumours that you have recently stole of of our school rum suppplies. Could you please return the entire stash to my office at once.
Our security parrot has seen everything and keeps mentionin something about Panty's being gnawed.
Can you please bring 2 large tankards +rum stash + 2 of Mdme Fifi's finest 'catering staff' with you, as we must discuss 'school matters' immediately.
Yours totally uncorrupted.
Principal Bill Cullinane
Loosely Canonising and keeping it free for all Pastafarians
http://www.loose-canon.info/
http://www.loose-canon.info/
- black bart
- Resident Weevil
- Posts: 24540
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
- Location: London
Re: New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum
pieces o'nine wrote:Oi am *NOT* in charrrge ov thee snax, PG. That be unner Bart's dooteas. Pay attenshun.
As fer thee hunforchunat Weevil Allergy Hincident, Staff 'as no simpafee fer those wot cant gess wot thee hingreedy yents be in "Weevil Bicuits", fer thee love ov Cronan.
Allergy Hincident? I must point out dat there be no traces o nuts in Fish Head Stew...
...unless ye counts the hunfortunate hincident wiv Mad Will Bonney fallin in the VAT whilst tryin ta perform ACT IV Scene 3 of the Tempest.

The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
- pieces o'nine
- Look Upon Her Works, Ye Migyt, and Despair!
- Posts: 8074
- Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 9:21 am
- Location: Ocean o'Sand
- Contact:
Re: New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum
Oi 'opes ye dint pay two much fer yer copy of The Tempest wiv hextra scenes in Act IV, Bart.
On thee ovver hook, if yer in thee market fer rare books an sech, oi 'ave a artograffed copy of Sir Oisick Newtown's Dork Matter fer Dummies witch oi moight be willin ter parrrt wiv...
On thee ovver hook, if yer in thee market fer rare books an sech, oi 'ave a artograffed copy of Sir Oisick Newtown's Dork Matter fer Dummies witch oi moight be willin ter parrrt wiv...
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 23 guests