Complete the Piratey Headline

[black bart]

Hackles the Rescue Dog, finds the body of John Brown a Moulderin in the Grave

Mayor Borat Johnson of Portsmouth calls for search expedition to find *****

[Phlebas]

Mayor Borat Johnson of Portsmouth calls for search expedition to find a slightly shorter Piratey Headline than the one you are currently reading.

Search proves futile

Recent Search Finds *****

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Recent Search Finds Zankou Not Actually Awesome
Much to the surprise to Zankou, but not to anyone else.

New Species of Duck Discovered, To Be Named ********

[Phlebas]

New Species of Duck Discovered, To Be Named In A Ceremony At The Portsmouth Town Hall

Local conservationist, Black Bart, said "It's a bit of a mouthful, and the name is quite long too".

Young Patrons Told, ******

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Young Patrons Told, "Flommy" By Local Street Urchin
Needless to say, that didn't go down well, that's for sure.

Elephantitis Found In Black Bart's *********

[Edd]

Elephantitis Found In Black Bart's Vocabulary.

What other words might he know? Is he qualified to use them?


Zankou challenges Black Bart to *****

[Zankou 2.0]

Zankou challenges Black Bart to Beat Him in a Spelling Bee
No word yet on Black Bart's response.


Black Bart tells Zankou to *******

[pieces o'nine]

Black Bart tells Zankou to Go Swab the Poop Deck
Zankou is currently in irons for insubordination. Portsmouth citizenry are organizing a spontaneous demonstration in celebration.


Experts Predict Shortage of Banner-Sized Type; Suggest *****

[Edd]

Experts Predict Shortage of Banner-Sized Type; Suggest A Voyage to Brobdingnag.


Emissaries from Laputa, Balnibarbi, Glubbdubdrib, Luggnagg and Japan hope to *****

[ChowMein]

Emissaries from Laputa, Balnibarbi, Glubbdubdrib, Luggnagg and Japan hope to stop Will Bonney from proposing any more names for their islands



Loco Kook ChowMein Opens Restaurant , Towne Residents *****

[pieces o'nine]

Loco Kook ChowMein Opens Restaurant, Towne Residents Contact Health Inspector


Zankou Signs Contract with Rupert Murdoch's Newscorp as Fact Checker, Says, "*****"

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Zankou Signs Contract with Rupert Murdoch's Newscorp as Fact Checker, Says, "Everything is Fine, Especially the Page Three Girl... Excuse Me!"

Mayor Borat Johnson Passes New Decree, Stating that "All Hardworking Pirates Get *****"

[black bart]

Mayor Borat Johnson Passes New Decree, Stating that "All Hardworking Pirates Get More Time to Hang Around the Docks (in a Gibbet)

Black Bart Accepts Spelling Challenge and Tells Zankou to Stick his Thesaurus up his******

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Black Bart Accepts Spelling Challenge and Tells Zankou to Stick his Thesaurus up his Red, Inflamed, **********

[Edd]

Black Bart Accepts Spelling Challenge and Tells Zankou to Stick his Thesaurus up his Red, Inflamed, Elephantine *****