Question?? Virgin Olive Oil??

[Beth Anga List]

I am very new to the FSM Ministries...

I'm in the process of reading the Gospel and have not seen any mention of The Holy Virgin Olive Oil? Or if she exists? I had an incredible vision (after consuming large amounts of rum in honor of all our fallen pirates). I fell asleep watching old Popeye cartoons..... And then the vision came to me in a dream.That the creator of Popeye Elzie Crisler Segar was actually an Ex-FSM believer and created the cartoon as a way of blasphemy! That the characters in the long running series are actual people! If you recall the Sea Hag which was portrayed as a bad character is actually a pirate with special powers (actually a chosen one), Popeye was a sailor always saving the day (actually in real life was a sailor for the Royal Navy) and Olive Oyl (actually real name "Olive Oil")..... In my vision the Sea Hag (and I hate calling her that... Wish I knew her real name) Chose Olive Oil and put her into a magical trance and the Great FSM came down and touched her with his appendages impregnating Olive Oil with Sweet Pea (which could actually be The Sweet Baby Pasta). Thus producing the "Virgin Olive Oil"!!! This makes soooo much sense!!! I am going immediately and getting a statue of The Virgin Olive Oil and putting it up in my house as a shrine and draping her grace with noodles!!!

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

An interesting theory. However, in my opinion, no matter how holy Olive Oil is, there is no requirement for her to be a Virgin. Remember, we have flimsy moral standards.




Besides, if the Virgin Olive Oil was holy, what about the Extra Virgin Olive Oil (and how does one become an extra virgin, anyway)?

[Temp0ral]

Maybe virgin olive oil is olive oil without the usual alcohol content. Perhaps, the Holy Virgin Olive Oil is an early pirate who chose not to drink like all the other pirates...

Get writing Beth Anga List, the story of the Holy Virgin Olive Oil must be told!

[Beth Anga List]

It's all coming together now... My vision is becoming more clear!!! Damn! Not good... means I'm sobering up!! More Rum please!! Arggghhh

I'm on it!!

[Beth Anga List]

See dear brother Rowan,

In early Christianity or Buddhism their story of the Virgin Mary and Devaki was a misinterpreted vision giving to them by the FSM... They were off track. Our Holy Noodleness meant it as a glorious happening of the future.... Just like the Christian believe... The FSM wanted to give the world his only begotten son by impregnating the chosen Olive Oil with his child... So this child could bring the pirates and the Navy together and stop the blood shed of the pirates.... And stop global warming. Thus was born Sweet Pasta. If this theory is true then who is the real Sweat Pea?? Our Savior.... Why have we not picked him out of the masses??? I had a vision that this man aka son of Virgin Olive Oil is maybe da da da drum roll..... Larry Flint???? He doesnt discriminate against prostitutes or strippers... He's saved poor souls from tragic lives and parties like a pirates dream!! He's struggled with evil and has even been crucified in terms... for his beliefs in our rights to freedom of choice and voice. He even has an affinity towards midgets??? Thoughts group??

[Beth Anga List]

Perhaps Sweet Pasta is... Johnny Cash??

WWJD

What would Johnny Do?

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

Why not Bobby Henderson? Or maybe Johnny Depp? Or possibly the pirate in us all?