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Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 8:04 pm
by Solipsy
I found these on the LAW thread, included by Verbtea:

Let us not forget these commandments:

    Thou shalt not consume "cheese" from a green cardboard can, nor shalt thou allow such cans into thy homes
    Limit Thy Portions, lest thou blow up to the size of my land-and-sea creature, the elephant-seal
    Thou shalt not consume Boy-Arrrrrrrrrr-Dee, for it is abomination unto Me
    Remember to cook
    thy pasta at a rolling boil just until tender, lest Thou offend me with waterlogged offerings


I'm including them here, because they are more in the spirit of "Not Commandments, Suggestions"... and they have yet to be adjudicated.

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Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 1:33 am
by Solipsy
The following SUGGESTIONS are from fusiontortellini (also found in the LAW thread):

Ahh, so HERE is where I post my suggestions:

Thou shalt ever seek to improve thy Pasta, to more closely approach the Divine Noodliness.

Thou shalt not take thy Pasta in vein. Or artery, for that matter.

Thou shalt share, that none may seek without finding.

Thou shalt not commit adultery unless thy spouse is present.

Thou shalt not feel guilty for feeling good.

Thou shalt worship strippers when possible, and always tithe properly.

Remember that midgets are Holy unto Me; thou shalt not overlook them.

More later, I'm sure.



These also have to be adjudicated by the council.

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 10:58 am
by teripie
Can ya add something about big elaborate-waste-of-money weddings, where the amount of money spent can rivel the national debt?

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 11:27 pm
by _Tex_
at solipsy's behest, and cos i cant seem to post stuff in the right place, here it is moved from the place it wasnt supposed to be...

being rather partial to a hedonistic lifestyle (it was the Flimsy Moral Standards that got me....) i kinda like the idea of:
"If it feels good thou shalt do it several times over, you probably muffed it the first time"

happy solipsy?

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Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 11:38 pm
by Solipsy
I am SUCH a picky scribe! :roll: Thanks, _Tex_

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 12:40 pm
by PragmaticallyWyrd
Solipsy wrote:The following SUGGESTIONS are from fusiontortellini (also found in the LAW thread):

Ahh, so HERE is where I post my suggestions:

Thou shalt ever seek to improve thy Pasta, to more closely approach the Divine Noodliness.


I offer an alternate version to that one that incorporates a bit of wisdom that I've read in several places.

Be ye forever improvin' thy Pasta; for ye knowest well those that make claims of Noodle Perfection are those closetted with moldy old noodles.

The underlying idea I'm going for is the one that goes, "those that claim to know The Truth are for more dangerous than those that seek it.", but I'm not sure I've captured it yet. Feel free to modify or igonre. :)

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Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 5:43 pm
by Solipsy
PragmaticallyWyrd,

I feel ya. I kinda like this formulation. Whatdaya think?

Thou shalt ever seek to improve thy Pasta, to more closely approach the Divine Noodliness. Thou shalt ever remember, however, that the Divine Noodliness, can only be approached. Thou shalt beware those who claim to have achieved It, for they are False Chefs whose claims of the Perfect Recipe will lead the astray.

Re: ......

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 6:42 pm
by PragmaticallyWyrd
Solipsy wrote:PragmaticallyWyrd,

I feel ya. I kinda like this formulation. Whatdaya think?

Thou shalt ever seek to improve thy Pasta, to more closely approach the Divine Noodliness. Thou shalt ever remember, however, that the Divine Noodliness, can only be approached. Thou shalt beware those who claim to have achieved It, for they are False Chefs whose claims of the Perfect Recipe will lead the astray.

It's good, but the length of it seems to break the standard format of a commandment. OTOH, I for one, am a fan of the long, complicated, and convoluted sentence. I think they should get used more often. For every complex problem, there's an answer that's simple, obvious, and worng, of course.

So, if it's strategically placed within the list, then this non-conforming Suggestion could be just right. :fsm_yarr:

Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2005 2:05 am
by Swashbuckler Saucy
Thou shall cover thy nose and mouth before, and during, a sneeze, 'less thou wantith to get the whole damn place a coldith.

My 2 cents. :wink:

Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2005 3:27 am
by Solipsy
The Wise Council of Olive Garden has approved the following Suggestions to Date:

I. I am the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Thou shalt have no other monsters before Me. (Afterwards is OK; just use protection.) The only Monster who deserves capitalization is Me! Other monsters are false monsters, undeserving of capitalization.

II. Thou ought not do stuff thou already knowest is wrong, like killing, lying, cheating, stealing, etc. Dost thou really need these carved into a rock?

III. Judge not, for verily it be not thine job neither most likely to be thine business.

IV. Hey, try not to buy too much useless crap, OK?

V. Be kind unto others whether they are kind unto thou or not, for it maketh thou the better person in most situations, and occasionally it doth piss off an idiot, which is funny unto Your Lord the Sauced One.

VI. Thou ought not consume "cheese" from a green cardboard can, nor ought thou allow such cans into thy homes.

VII. Thou shalt share, that none may seek without finding.

VIII. Thou shalt not feel guilty for feeling good.

IX. Thou shalt remember that all the peoples of the Earth are equally My Creatures. When thee worship strippers, always show thy monetary appreciation generously. Remember that midgets are Holy unto Me; thou shalt not overlook them.

X. Thou ought not take thy Pasta in vein. Or artery, for that matter.

XI. Thou ought ever seek to improve thy Pasta, to more closely approach the Divine Noodliness.

XII. Thou ought beware those who claim to have achieved Noodly Perfection, for they are False Chefs whose claims of the Perfect Recipe will lead thee astray.

The Council of Olive Garden has thus decreed that These Twelve NOT COMMANDMENTS, SUGGESTIONS are Thus Far Accepted and Shall Be Considered Among the Canon though there is plenty of room for more, and thus it shall be so. Topic Decided.

The Wise Council of Olive Garden wishes to remind the Pastafarian Fellowship that is no set number of NOT COMMANDMENTS, SUGGESTIONS, and that further revelations among the True Believers are expected.

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2005 2:21 pm
by PragmaticallyWyrd
Awesome stuff. I copied the Suggestions to my lj to help spread the Noodliness.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/wyrd_sane/32484.html :) :fsm_smile:

Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 3:25 am
by fusiontortellini
More possibles:

Remember to keep Friday Holy, and wear thy pirate gear with pride.

Thou ought to look beyond the obvious, for there may be a prize inside.

Just a suggestion....

Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 12:43 am
by Suvordaeus
Thou shalt playeth along when His Noodleyness sendeth thou ill pranks, for though they may seemest unto though rotten luck, to Him they are great amusement, and knowing this, thou shalt see that it is all good.

Re: Just a suggestion....

Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 2:17 am
by Solipsy
Suvordaeus wrote:Thou shalt playeth along when His Noodleyness sendeth thou ill pranks, for though they may seemest unto though rotten luck, to Him they are great amusement, and knowing this, thou shalt see that it is all good.


I like this better as a ProvHerb, I think. I think it fits better there. Anyone else have any thoughts on the issue?

Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 8:43 am
by fusiontortellini
Yeah, I think it makes a better Provherb. We need to keep the Suggestions short and pithy when possible . . .