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Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 4:10 pm
by Qwertyuiopasd
these two are good:

I remember that an elephant never forgets, but i forget what the elephant remembered.

Never punch an alligater in the ass.

although the first should probably be a quote from a version of confusious.

we need a philosipher!

also, never play fetch with a kong filled with gooey peanut butter. unholy messes bound to occur. XD


Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 3:05 am
by Solipsy
To the divine feast, the wise bringeth TicTacs, but the fool leaveth with breath most garlicky and offensive

The wise one checketh the date of the Parmesan, but the foolish accidentally flavor the sauce with mold.

The FSM shall bless the True Believer who wipeth the sauce from his chin, but shall not spare the shirts of the careless.


Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 3:19 am
by Solipsy
And so it came to pass that the copying and the pasting of the posting of the writing, as it did appear thus far in this thread, was done. And the FSM looked down, and His Great Noodly Appendages did quiver with saucy delight. And he did proclaimeth: "Cool. So Far, So Good." Thus spake Our Lord in Marinara.

It was proclaimed throughout that Boards of His Holy Discussion that the Divinely Inspired Writing should not cease, but rather should continue, for to Him, it is most pleasing. And yea, His humble galleyscribe Solipsy did toss and turn upon the seas of the keyboard at all unreasonable hours, and did gather the writings of the inspired, and did organize them and nit-pick them, but not without permission, and did seek to credit them, and will be in touch with the writers of them if any questions ariseth, and doth encourage said writers for to do the same.

Thus did the proclamation end.

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 2:14 pm
by soyastuff
Think not disparaging of the night BUT cast thyn eyes upon the moon for FSM put it there to remind you of a plate of pasta.

From The FSM in the Moon(out of print)

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 5:58 pm
by freethinker
Ok, I'll give it a go...........

To touch the divine, is not the same as being divinely touched.

His noodley appendage is NOT dirty, unless you want it to be.

Your god calls gluttony a sin, mine encourages seconds.

The only real sin is the lingering belief in sin itself.

The meaning of life can only be found at the bottom of a pasta bowl.


Let me know what ya think :wink:

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 5:41 pm
by NickNasty
Blessed are the pasta-makers, they shall inherit 10 gold dubloons.

I think, therefore I am a pirate.

As you treat the least of the midgets, so you treat Him.

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 6:49 pm
by kaioshin00
Strive for the stars, for nothing is impastable.

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 9:18 pm
by DHR
He who eats pasta shall never be hungry.

Re: PROVERBS! Try them yourself! (Check 1st post)

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 9:40 pm
by DHR
Solipsy wrote:PROVERBS

There is a simple formula for proverbs, if one reads more than about thirty of them, as I did when I was a traveling speaker and spent some hotel time reading Gideon's for entertainment... the formula is this:

The Deity likes that which is good, and dislikes that which is bad. Alternately, "good things are good, and bad things are bad" ie: a wise man has great wisdom, but a fool will utter foolishness. seriously. that's repeated in one form or another about six hundred times...And, the more inane or indecipherable they are, the better. About one in 500 proverbs from that other book actually makes any sense or isn't simply a restatement of an obvious fact, so have at it.

They are quite easy to invent:

The Flying Spaghetti Monster looks with favor upon the saucy, but shall withhold his blessed beer volcano from the dry.

His Noodlyness blesses not the deniers of Global warming, but shall make pirates plentiful to those who have been touched.

Arrrrrr, it is revealed and to be held holy that two meatballs exist, but three meatballs shall garner the wrath of His Appendage.

Invent your own today!!! Invite your fellow Pastafarians to join in!!! It's loads of fun.

Yours in sauce,
:worship: :fsm_smile:

Feed a man pasta and you have fed him for a day, teach a man to cook pasta and you will amaze his wife.

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 10:12 pm
by Ushnor
In the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.


Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 10:34 pm
by Solipsy
Ushnor wrote:In the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.

That's really deep. Someone ought to make a song outta that. :roll:

Re: ......

Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 12:58 pm
by Ushnor
Solipsy wrote:
Ushnor wrote:In the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.

That's really deep. Someone ought to make a song outta that. :roll:

Well, the Beatles never made a song about that. Nope. Not a one. :fsm_look:

Here's more proverbs for ya'.
Cake tastes good.
Do not put ranch dressing on your spaghetti, for that is blasphemy.
Kiss the cook.
Don't fear the reefer.

Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 3:50 pm
by ke_mikiao
The early bird may get the worm, but the late sleeper recovers from a hangover.

Let he who is without arms, cast the first stone.

When asked "Chicken or Fish" always reply "I'll have a taco-stuffed steak." lest you offend thy Monster.


Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 4:07 pm
by CardinalRigatoni
Our Pasta which art in marinara, delicious be thy name. Thy plate has come. Thy will be eaten in earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily serving. And forgive us our occasional overcooking, as we forgive them that take seconds before us. And lead us not into cleaning. But deliver us from weasles. RAmen.

"FSM answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every pasta that comes from the mouth of me"

"A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry: but pasta answereth all things"

Please prepare your plates, let us eat. Bobby, pass the Parmesian.


Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 4:09 pm
by Qwertyuiopasd
the early bird gets the worm, but the late worm loses the bird.

this, however, askes whether you are a bird or worm. so heres a better one"

the early bird gets the worm, but who likes eating worms?