The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

[kenzie1992]

Hey, I'm Kenzie and I converted from atheism about a month ago when I picked up the Gospel, and I'm doing the best to spread the word within my high school :D

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Welcome, Kenzie and Piratey Ninja, not to mention the rest of you lot!

[Moral Minority]

Hey, I'm Kenzie and I converted from atheism about a month ago when I picked up the Gospel, and I'm doing the best to spread the word within my high school :D

Aren't you a little young to be talking to people like us?

[Zankou 2.0]

Hey, I'm Kenzie and I converted from atheism about a month ago when I picked up the Gospel, and I'm doing the best to spread the word within my high school :D

Aren't you a little young to be talking to people like us?

Erm..no, he is not.

[Zibethicus]

Avast there! ArchD'Ikon Zibethicus posting; Discordian, SubGenius and everything else expected from the time and place. One of my hobbies is to occasionally pester the local paper in my home turf of the Blue Mountains outside Sydney, Australia. The local paper, the Blue Mountains Gazette, has been giving some space to the so-called 'Intelligent Design debate', and the noisy Christians have been weighing in aplenty. I myself have occasionally posted on the FSM side, and last week one of the noisier Christians got a letter in denying global warming on the grounds that he hadn't seen the Sydney Opera House submerged yet.

I was pleasantly surprised when the paper ran my reply, and I thought I might share it with the board, since the paper takes letters from everyone (http://bluemountains.yourguide.com.au/). Perhaps somebody - probably anybody! - can do better than me. Here's the letter:

That noted climatologist, Richard Merrell, is somewhat astute in his denial of global warming on the basis of his observations that the Sydney Opera House has not yet been submerged (BMG 20/8/08). But there is a superior explanation to his denial and the merely scientific point that global sea level is aggregate and the observed rise is slow – so far.

According to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), the true cause of global warming is the increasing world-around deficiency of pirates. The number of pirates has been declining steadily since the 19th Century and is closely correlated with the observed increase in global temperatures.

It is obvious that what is actually occurring is that the FSM, justly angered at this world for its extinguishment of its sustaining pirates, is punishing us for our folly with the same means that He uses to conceal His existence from the trivial measurements of materialistic scientists. In both cases, He is touching all measuring apparatus at the crucial instant of measurement with His Noodly Appendage, and removing all evidence of rising sea levels in one case and His very existence in the other. This explanation is superior to those of the rival global warming deniers and Intelligent Design advocates as it explains both sets of observations by the single means of The Noodly Appendage, and it is equally accessible to logical ‘proof’.

It is also startlingly similar to Mr Merrell’s much-touted Christian faith in that the total lack of evidence for the existence of the FSM can be cited as the greatest possible proof of the FSM’s existence. I trust that Mr Merrell’s acutely logical mind will recognise the economy of means of the Church of the FSM and that he will forthwith join our swelling ranks before it is too late. For every convert who dons a pirate suit, the waters sink again just that little bit...

(end letter)

Perhaps some Christian will exercise their right of reply in some droll fashion...

RAMEN!

->Zibethicus<-

[ChowMein]

HARRRRRR DE HAR HAR !

Well done matey ! Very eloquently put I must say with a loverly degree of "sting", a very harrrrrty welcome to you .
Please stop by the pirates forum for your call to duty , registarrr yon shup , pick up yer weepin' and get to it matey !

[littleanimal]

Just dropping by to say hi to you all and that I understand the rules, and can spell and punctuate fairly well without excessive use of hyphens. And I know that the number 000000000 did not come before 0.

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Hey, I'm Kenzie and I converted from atheism about a month ago when I picked up the Gospel, and I'm doing the best to spread the word within my high school :D

Aren't you a little young to be talking to people like us?

Erm..no, he is not.

Yeah, I was born in '92.

[black bart]

Arrrrr...Ye means 1792 o course matey.

[Roonie]

Hello everyone,

For a while now, I have been struggling to find a way to express my devotion to a higher power. When I stumbled upon Pastafarianism just hours ago, I realized that I have found my way and that I have, in fact, been a believer for some time.

It is truly amazing to me that I would have such reverence for both pirates AND pasta for so long before hearing the good word . . . I take this as a sign that I was destined to find my palce in wet, sloppy embrace of the Flying Spaghetti Monster's love.

RAmen.

I hope to have many questions answered about proper orthodox observance of His Greatness.

~Roonie.

[Lissa]

Hey guys and gals,
I just found this amazing Religion. And upon seeing it I just had to giggle. I am really sorry that I missed the big hype, but when this just came out I was a little tyke.
This religion is so amazingly awsome sauce that I think that I have to partake in the glory!!!!

Any way I am now a BELEVAH in all this Noodley greatness! Keep up on the good work spreading the joy about the greatness that is the FSM!
R'Amen!

[Lissa]

Hey, I'm Kenzie and I converted from atheism about a month ago when I picked up the Gospel, and I'm doing the best to spread the word within my high school :D

Aren't you a little young to be talking to people like us?

Is there an age limit??? I am just turning 18....
My senior year in high school

[Zankou 2.0]

Hey, I'm Kenzie and I converted from atheism about a month ago when I picked up the Gospel, and I'm doing the best to spread the word within my high school :D

Aren't you a little young to be talking to people like us?

Is there an age limit??? I am just turning 18....
My senior year in high school

You must be 13 years old to join these forums.

[God_Malo]

I figure what the hell, I was a horrible Christian(1990ish-2001ish), an acceptable agnostic, an over all lazy Wiccan/Stregone/not a tree-hugging-irritating-hippy,
why not try out Pastafaria. Besides it's already on my dogtags and I say the prayer over the radio before every convoy I go on here in Iraq anyway-might I add my convoys have'nt been been hit since the first prayer back in the may time frame, which can't be said about the prayers to Jesus.



By the way Rock On,etc.

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Welkum abord matey !

Ye juss be careful over tharr an' watch out fer them black an' white puppies , they be vicious and cruel , godless beasts that likely rend ye to bits an' larf thee entire tyme wile they be chewing yer ankles or tearing up yer newspaper !

Ye bess git them afore they git ye laddie !