The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

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ignatov

Re: The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

Postby ignatov » Tue Sep 02, 2008 1:13 pm

I saw the light; I saw the light.
No more darkness; no more night.
Now I'm so happy; no sorrow in sight.
Praise the Monster; I saw the light.

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blaze8902
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Re: The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

Postby blaze8902 » Thu Sep 04, 2008 10:32 pm

argghh?
I am but a pirate at heart, I think like a pirate, and I act like a pirate, but the FSM has not blessed me with the pirate language.
I will have to work on it. The flying spaghetti monster is with me, and I am sure with the blessing of his noodly apendage, I can accomplish much.
I tried buying a translator, but it didn't work out to well...
"Life is too short for mayflies."
-------------
"before critizing someone, walk a mile in thier shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away and have thier shoes."
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"Quick! Everyone kill yourselves! It's hopeless without Blaze!" - During N+
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"I live in a town of about 1600, and everyone is armed." User location: Apache.
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"Children in the back seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat cause children."
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RAmen.

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Re: The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

Postby PollyDactyl » Fri Sep 05, 2008 12:09 am

I am a devout pastafarian
but this is my first post

I am spreading the word through PTA meetings and rollerderby

may we all be touched by his noodly appendage

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Re: The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

Postby CheezusTheHolyToping » Fri Sep 05, 2008 2:42 am

Greetings all my brothers and sisters of matter and energy.

I am the messiah of mozzarella. The apostle of asiago. The savior of swiss. The prophet of parmesan.

I am the son and servant of the the Almighty. The messenger of the monster. Only his warm noodly arms of infinite love and kindness can set the trapped spirits of the Earth free. We must abandon our so-called gods of judgement and slavery and embrace the one truth. The freedom and the open mind of the sacred FSM. Only under his logic and guidance can we form a world where we will not tolerate intolerance. The warped minds of non-pastafarians will try to trick you by raping the meaning of words. They will try to tell you that we are cruel for not accepting their sham of a thought process. That we must accept their sick and depraved laws and opinions.

But I say NO! We will not be tolerant of their intolerance. Their beliefs in imaginary characters will not be respected so that they can turn their perverse view into laws. They only seek to destroy the Pastafarian way of life. They would have you turned into a passionless lump whose sole purpose is to procreate. But I say there are greater things to be had. Greater virtues to seek. The pursuit of happiness, wine, girl on girl action, and the ability to choose your own underpants.

NO! We do not worship magic underwear, or the shape of the cross. We kneel before a greater power. The power of PASTA. There is never a bad time to convert. Simply throw your old death-breeding books into the river, go to the kitchen, and make a pot of Pasta. For the FSM is always with you. Take him into your belly, take him into your heart.

And remember my friends, Cheezus saves.

Ramen.

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Re: The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

Postby black bart » Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:14 am

CheezusTheHolyToping wrote:Greetings all my brothers and sisters of matter and energy.

I am the messiah of mozzarella. The apostle of asiago. The savior of swiss. The prophet of parmesan.

I am the son and servant of the the Almighty. The messenger of the monster. Only his warm noodly arms of infinite love and kindness can set the trapped spirits of the Earth free. We must abandon our so-called gods of judgement and slavery and embrace the one truth. The freedom and the open mind of the sacred FSM. Only under his logic and guidance can we form a world where we will not tolerate intolerance. The warped minds of non-pastafarians will try to trick you by raping the meaning of words. They will try to tell you that we are cruel for not accepting their sham of a thought process. That we must accept their sick and depraved laws and opinions.

But I say NO! We will not be tolerant of their intolerance. Their beliefs in imaginary characters will not be respected so that they can turn their perverse view into laws. They only seek to destroy the Pastafarian way of life. They would have you turned into a passionless lump whose sole purpose is to procreate. But I say there are greater things to be had. Greater virtues to seek. The pursuit of happiness, wine, girl on girl action, and the ability to choose your own underpants.

NO! We do not worship magic underwear, or the shape of the cross. We kneel before a greater power. The power of PASTA. There is never a bad time to convert. Simply throw your old death-breeding books into the river, go to the kitchen, and make a pot of Pasta. For the FSM is always with you. Take him into your belly, take him into your heart.

And remember my friends, Cheezus saves.

Ramen.


Ahoy matey...Love the name, Cheezus.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Re: The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

Postby Edd » Fri Sep 05, 2008 11:39 am

But what's a 'Toping?'
"Oook." - The Librarian

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Re: The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

Postby CheezusTheHolyToping » Fri Sep 05, 2008 2:05 pm

Edd wrote:But what's a 'Toping?'


I am forever oppressed and grated. Even by the limitations of characters for user names. I had to sacrifice a cross to join you under my blessed name. A topping is something put on a thing at the top to complete it, as a sauce or garnish placed on food. I am the gooey garnish that will bring pasta to the sleeping masses. They will not be able to resist such a dairy deity.

Spinkle the Cheezus. Sprinkle that sh*t. Be one with the pasta.

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Re: The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

Postby Zankou 2.0 » Fri Sep 05, 2008 3:45 pm

CheezusTheHolyToping wrote:
Edd wrote:But what's a 'Toping?'


I am forever oppressed and grated. Even by the limitations of characters for user names. I had to sacrifice a cross to join you under my blessed name. A topping is something put on a thing at the top to complete it, as a sauce or garnish placed on food. I am the gooey garnish that will bring pasta to the sleeping masses. They will not be able to resist such a dairy deity.

Spinkle the Cheezus. Sprinkle that sh*t. Be one with the pasta.

You'd have been further ahead to remove an "e", since "Chezus" is still pronounced like "Jesus", and not a word either way, where as the missing "p" completely changes the meaning and pronunciation of "topping".
--Zankou II

The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.

"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II


Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein

CheezusTheHolyToping
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Re: The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

Postby CheezusTheHolyToping » Fri Sep 05, 2008 3:51 pm

Zankou 2.0 wrote:
CheezusTheHolyToping wrote:
Edd wrote:But what's a 'Toping?'


I am forever oppressed and grated. Even by the limitations of characters for user names. I had to sacrifice a cross to join you under my blessed name. A topping is something put on a thing at the top to complete it, as a sauce or garnish placed on food. I am the gooey garnish that will bring pasta to the sleeping masses. They will not be able to resist such a dairy deity.

Spinkle the Cheezus. Sprinkle that sh*t. Be one with the pasta.

You'd have been further ahead to remove an "e", since "Chezus" is still pronounced like "Jesus", and not a word either way, where as the missing "p" completely changes the meaning and pronunciation of "topping".


FSM frowns upon those whose asses are tight. Be more free with spelling. The spelling of words has evolved drastically overtime. But the meaning of FSM is forever.

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Re: The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

Postby HeathenPastafarian » Fri Sep 05, 2008 4:00 pm

CheezusTheHolyToping wrote:FSM frowns upon those whose asses are tight.


LMAO. Most of us are spelling and grammar Nazi's, but we welcome you anyway. My friend who looked like Jesus and loved cheese had the nickname Cheezus and spelled it the same way you did. I will agree with Zank about topping though.

Welcome!
-Stop using Jesus as an excuse for being a narrow minded bigot.
-Music was her life, the lyrics were her story.
-Be careful what you say, it may remind me of a song that needs to be sung.
-GOT JESUS? I thought you had him....shit!
-Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
-My pit bull is my co-pilot.
-To err is human; to ARRGGHHH is pirate!
-Why do we kill people who kill people to show people that killing people is wrong?
-Well behaved women rarely make history.
-Laughter: When a smile has an orgasm
-I'm not so good at the advice; can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

CheezusTheHolyToping
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Re: The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

Postby CheezusTheHolyToping » Fri Sep 05, 2008 4:04 pm

HeathenPastafarian wrote:
CheezusTheHolyToping wrote:FSM frowns upon those whose asses are tight.


LMAO. Most of us are spelling and grammar Nazi's, but we welcome you anyway. My friend who looked like Jesus and loved cheese had the nickname Cheezus and spelled it the same way you did. I will agree with Zank about topping though.

Welcome!


apparently the line between acceptance and rejection is one letter thick. Hate on non-pastafarians if you must. The flying spaghetti monster is love.

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Re: The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

Postby HeathenPastafarian » Fri Sep 05, 2008 4:21 pm

Not hating nor rejecting anyone...did I not say welcome? Come join us in the real threads! You must have thick skin though.....for the FSM IS about love, however this forum is about wit, sarcasm, merciless teasing, and sexual innuendo....

Welcome again, Cheesus!
-Stop using Jesus as an excuse for being a narrow minded bigot.
-Music was her life, the lyrics were her story.
-Be careful what you say, it may remind me of a song that needs to be sung.
-GOT JESUS? I thought you had him....shit!
-Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
-My pit bull is my co-pilot.
-To err is human; to ARRGGHHH is pirate!
-Why do we kill people who kill people to show people that killing people is wrong?
-Well behaved women rarely make history.
-Laughter: When a smile has an orgasm
-I'm not so good at the advice; can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

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Edd
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Re: The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

Postby Edd » Fri Sep 05, 2008 4:21 pm

CheezusTheHolyToping wrote:...apparently the line between acceptance and rejection is one letter thick...


It’s actually the line between boredom and a frenzy of activity over the slightest excuse.
"Oook." - The Librarian

Visit the new and improved Agnoistrology.com!

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Mad Willyum Bonney
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Re: The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney » Fri Sep 05, 2008 4:29 pm

Wot ^ sayed .
Remembering St. John
Remembering Auntie DeeDee
Remembering Black Bart
Remembering Pieces o' Nine
Remembering Rainswept

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Re: The New Convert Thread - MAKE YOUR FIRST POST HERE

Postby Zankou 2.0 » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:07 pm

CheezusTheHolyToping wrote:apparently the line between acceptance and rejection is one letter thick. Hate on non-pastafarians if you must. The flying spaghetti monster is love.

Dude, chill. I'm just playin'.

I formally welcome you on behalf of the entire forum, regardless of your spelling choices.
--Zankou II

The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.

"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II


Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein


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