Corrupt a wish.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

^Lyks ter-mar-toes.

[PKMKII]

Granted. You are now hired as a cabin boy. Unfortunately, the cabin in question is in the middle of the Wyoming wilderness, and is occupied by a psychotic bomber.

I wish season 6 of Lost was starting earlier than next year. Like, tomorrow.

[daftbeaker]

Granted. However, nothing happens and you realise after 6 episodes they've just put a new soundtrack on season 2.

I wish I could decide whether to buy satsumas, clementines or oranges. It's not helped by not knowing whether I like the first two or not

[Scott the Pirate]

Granted, you buy the oranges but they're over-ripe and you regret your choice....forever.

I wish that the gf could admit that she's wrong on occasion

[ubidubikid #1]

granted. she totaly looses confidence in her knowledge of the world and refuses to do so much as buy an orange with out you telling her if it's alright. ("is this a good deal? how do I know if it's ripe? is having no sent a good or a bad thing? could there be some sort of citrus flu I don't know about?")

I wish I knew what this sticky gunk in my hair is.

[S'presso]

Granted. The prognosis is not good. It's a rare fungus that if not poked at for more than 5 minutes, will take over your hair and leave you bald. It also smells bad.

I wish my soft palette wasn't so itchy. I've got cuts on the inside of my mouth from trying to scratch it..

[ET, the Extra Terrestrial]

Granted. Your face is itchy instead, and now the scratches show.

I wish my right arm didn't hurt. (WTF, it's my LEFT arm that's messed up... )

[daftbeaker]

Granted. Your legs take offence and have gone on strike.

I wish the CD I ordered was in stock already.

[daftbeaker]

Granted, your thursday training is back on. Saturday's been cancelled instead

I wish I could go to the gym without waking up the next morning and feeling like I've been run over by a steamroller.

[Ubi Dubius]

Granted - instead, you are numbstruck.

I wish UDK#2's and friend's scooters had not been stolen.

[daftbeaker]

Granted. The thieves return them and apologise, explaining that the scooters weren't enough fun. Wave goodbye to your car.

I wish I could make Ubuntu and Fedora play nicely together. (This is starting to sound like a child's book.)

[Ubi Dubius]

Granted - everything was due at noon. You didn't have it done. You're fired. Have a relaxing afternoon.

I wish Daftbeaker hadn't stolen my car.

[Edd]

Granted. It was an email informing you that emails would temporarily not be appearing in your inbox. Now you know.

I wish I didn't actually get emails like that.

[Scott the Pirate]

Granted, but now you get no email at all and get fired for screwing everything up.

I wish that i would start getting the "FSM topic notifications'' again.

[bacon]

Granted, but there is a bug in the program and you are spammed with 5 billion notifications for the same topic.

I wish I had softer tissues at the office - me nose hoits