Corrupt a wish.

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fueledbycoffee
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby fueledbycoffee » Mon Aug 25, 2008 10:52 am

Granted. You have no teeth, and can eat nothing but tough steak, and there are no dentures or blenders.

I wish I could stop listening to Sweet Jane.
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Moral Minority
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Moral Minority » Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:03 pm

Granted. That is a corruption in itself.

I wish that V would give out free, working copies of his CD to me and all my friends.

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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Physics Wench » Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:26 pm

Granted. They work only on a player that costs $3M.

I wish I had a research adviser, who has a really interesting project for me to work on, and plenty of grant money to pay me so I wouldn't have to TA anymore.

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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby fueledbycoffee » Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:41 pm

Granted. He's Dr. Mengele.

I wish I could've told my boss off when I quit today.
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Physics Wench » Mon Aug 25, 2008 3:15 pm

Granted. Turns out that your former boss is secretly a ninja, and kills you with throwing stars.

I wish I I could afford to pay my rent and my bills, and still afford some semblance of a social life, while still having a job I don't mind doing.
"I wish, my dear Kepler that we could have a good laugh together at the extraordinary stupidity of the mob. What do you think of the foremost philosophers of this University? In spite of my oft-repeated efforts and invitations, they have refused, with the obstinacy of a glutted adder, to look at the planets or Moon or my telescope."
--Galileo Galilei
“It is surely harmful to souls to make it a heresy to believe what is proved.”
--Galileo Galilei

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fueledbycoffee
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby fueledbycoffee » Mon Aug 25, 2008 3:31 pm

Granted. You have a good, eight hour job, that's fun and pays your rent, which is negligible because you live in the shittiest part of town.

I wish that I didn't have to wait another two weeks to have my first paycheck. It's already been three weeks.
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby black bart » Tue Aug 26, 2008 6:07 am

Granted you are contracted as a hitman for the Mafia and you get payed by the job.

I wish British TV didn't keep mentioning Nazis and the war whilst I have German friends staying with me!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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fueledbycoffee
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby fueledbycoffee » Tue Aug 26, 2008 10:24 am

Dude, that's hilarious. Keep it on in the background, so you're doing other stuff, but it's always there. YES!

Granted. They're doing a special on the Baader-Meinhoff Gang.

I wish my Dad would leave so I can smoke.
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Zankou 2.0
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Zankou 2.0 » Tue Aug 26, 2008 10:27 am

Granted. You die of lung cancer.

I wish I could find homes for my kitties.
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fueledbycoffee
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby fueledbycoffee » Tue Aug 26, 2008 10:30 am

Granted. I'll take them. They make an excellent stir-fry.

I wish I had something to do.
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Physics Wench » Tue Aug 26, 2008 11:53 am

Granted, you now have to solve all the problems in "Classical Electrodynamics" by John David Jackson.

I wish someone would give me a small quantity of bicycle chain lube for free, just enough for my bike chain, in a manner that does not kill me or make me ill.
"I wish, my dear Kepler that we could have a good laugh together at the extraordinary stupidity of the mob. What do you think of the foremost philosophers of this University? In spite of my oft-repeated efforts and invitations, they have refused, with the obstinacy of a glutted adder, to look at the planets or Moon or my telescope."
--Galileo Galilei
“It is surely harmful to souls to make it a heresy to believe what is proved.”
--Galileo Galilei

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fueledbycoffee
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby fueledbycoffee » Tue Aug 26, 2008 12:36 pm

Granted. Their dog ejaculates it, and you have to bring it to orgasm to get at it and that was a little too weird even for me.

I wish it was 2:00pm.
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Edd » Tue Aug 26, 2008 12:45 pm

Granted. It is now 2:00 pm but you have been accelerated to the speed of light so that, for you, it is always 2:00 pm but the rest of the universe proceeds as normal.

I wish I had a better grasp of general relativity.
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby WelshRarePasta » Tue Aug 26, 2008 1:00 pm

Granted. However, you wish your grasp wasn't so tight, since the acceleration rips your arm into a finite but nonetheless quite large number of nearly infinitely small particles that wish you'd never heard the phrase 'relatively harmless.'

I wish for enough money to get a haircut before my job interview tomorrow.
"Only a man would think of that."
"It's our job... If you don't think of fifty-foot-high killer golems first, someone else will." Moist von Lipwig

"Are you saying," Brine interrupted, "that the human race was created to irritate Satan?"
"That is correct. Jehovah is infinite in his snottiness."
Brine reflected on this for a moment and regretted that he had not become a criminal at an early age. --Practical Demonkeeping

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fueledbycoffee
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby fueledbycoffee » Tue Aug 26, 2008 1:10 pm

Granted. You get murdered by a junkie coming out of the barber's. The newspaper article comments on your impeccable haircut.

I wish I could travel back in time to 1976.
Vote Pieces for Pope! She didn't buy me off with the funny hat, I swear!... She made me a cardinal.


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