Corrupt a wish.

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Mon May 26, 2008 1:45 pm

Granted. No one is funny. Ever.

I wish for something serious.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Moral Minority
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Postby Moral Minority » Mon May 26, 2008 1:46 pm

Granted. You get cancer.

I wish Dr. House was President.

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Mon May 26, 2008 1:48 pm

Granted. He is president of Macedonia and he decides to perform an autopsy on the country.

I wish for the perfect immune system.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Dr Dagger
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Postby Dr Dagger » Mon May 26, 2008 1:51 pm

Granted, perfect for a suicidal hypochondriac

I wish I hadn't eated your cookie.

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Mon May 26, 2008 1:55 pm

Granted. You throw it up.

I wish I hadn't laced my cookie with arsenic.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Detective TurtleHolmes
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Postby Detective TurtleHolmes » Mon May 26, 2008 7:52 pm

Granted. You lace it with lace, and all the old ladies in your neighbourhood join you for tea.

I wish I would stop accidentally saying "brang" instead of "brought."
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Mon May 26, 2008 8:00 pm

Granted. You now say "F*ck me sideways with a chainsaw" instead of saying "brought".

I wish to never have a metaphoric phrase turn real on me.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Hqrsie
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Postby Hqrsie » Mon May 26, 2008 10:45 pm

Granted, however in an alternate universe where such events happen and the phrase "...like being given a billion dollars by a brothel of beautiful but clean strippers while soaking in a hot tub full of champaign" is commonly used, your parallel version of yourself learns of this wish and sets out a long, painful campaign of revenge. Knowing what you lost him, you find it hard to fight back.


I wish I could sleep peacefully for 8 hours a night without the aid of medication and not be killed in my sleep as a result and not sleep through anything awesome and not have MM do nasty things to my unconscious body.
If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere committing evil deeds, an it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?
--Alexander Solzhenitsyn

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Mon May 26, 2008 10:48 pm

Granted. I do nasty things to your unconscious body.

I wish for someone to do nasty things to my conscious body.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

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beergirl47408
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Postby beergirl47408 » Mon May 26, 2008 10:50 pm

Granted. Margaret Thatcher does nasty things to your conscious body.

I wish someone would do something to my body, conscious or not.

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Mon May 26, 2008 10:51 pm

Granted. They donate your organs to science without delay.

TPBM is in the market for a new fallopian tube.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

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beergirl47408
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Postby beergirl47408 » Mon May 26, 2008 10:53 pm

you have your threads confused! I wish Rev. Rowan could keep track of what he was doing.

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Mon May 26, 2008 10:55 pm

Granted. But I still don't care.

I wish someone cared about me.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

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beergirl47408
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Postby beergirl47408 » Mon May 26, 2008 10:56 pm

Granted. Jesus loves you.

I wish Jesus loved me.

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:49 am

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Mon May 26, 2008 10:57 pm

Granted. Jesus loves you long time.

I wish for a happy ending.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.


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