Corrupt a wish.

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farfalla
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Postby farfalla » Sun May 25, 2008 5:03 pm

granted, you have so much fun, you never stop laughing and are eventually committed for extensive psychiatric evaluation

I wish my cat would live happy and healthy with me for years, but stay off my keyboard
~~~~~~/\~~~~~~

The heart has its reason, of which reason knows nothing. -Pascal - thanks, Z

"The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do."
Cpt Jack Sparrow

"I'm used to going out at 3 in the morning and doing something stupid."
Alan Moore

Silk 'n mind

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Hqrsie
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Postby Hqrsie » Sun May 25, 2008 5:31 pm

granted, however a strange man follows it around taping captions on it. He claims to be "from the internet".


I wish I had a kitteh
If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere committing evil deeds, an it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?
--Alexander Solzhenitsyn

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Zankou 2.0
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Postby Zankou 2.0 » Sun May 25, 2008 7:25 pm

Granted. It has rabies. Now, so do you.


I wish people wouldn't abandon kittehs.
--Zankou II

The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.

"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II


Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Sun May 25, 2008 7:36 pm

Granted. Instead, they infect them with rabies and give them to you.

I wish I were immune to rabies.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Zankou 2.0
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Postby Zankou 2.0 » Sun May 25, 2008 7:58 pm

Granted. You contract HIV after raping a monkey.


I wish I had a million wishes.
--Zankou II

The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.

"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II


Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Sun May 25, 2008 8:33 pm

Granted. However, the conditions on those wishes only make it possible to wish for being sat on by Big Brenda.

I wish for a wish that doesn't end in my being sat upon by Big Brenda.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

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Zankou 2.0
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Postby Zankou 2.0 » Sun May 25, 2008 8:34 pm

Granted. She eats you instead.

I wish I had the ability to kill whomever I wished, whenever I wished.
--Zankou II

The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.

"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II


Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Sun May 25, 2008 8:38 pm

Granted. Before you have a chance to use it, someone tells you a joke and you start laughing, saying "Damn, that kills me!"

I wish to invent the perfectly balanced meal-shake that could replace all other foods without malnutrition or bad taste.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

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Zankou 2.0
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Postby Zankou 2.0 » Sun May 25, 2008 8:42 pm

Granted. You are allergic to one of it's components.


I wish I had a larger bladder.
--Zankou II

The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.

"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II


Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Sun May 25, 2008 8:47 pm

Granted. You get a bladder infection the size of Los Angeles.

I wish to have complete control of my hairline.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

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Moral Minority
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Postby Moral Minority » Mon May 26, 2008 11:09 am

Granted. You never get bald but unfortunately, all women in the world simultaneously develop a fetish for bald men. You are left with no choice but to be gay (which is not that bad).

I wish my hair was white.

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Mon May 26, 2008 12:53 pm

granted, but due to affirmative action, it can't find a job.

I wish for racial equality.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

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Moral Minority
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Postby Moral Minority » Mon May 26, 2008 1:13 pm

Granted. The black high school dropout who is pushing drugs now has equal treatment as you.

I wish for this forum to :worship: me.

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Mon May 26, 2008 1:20 pm

Granted. They all stop believing in the FSM and believe that you are God's only begotten son, so they nail you to a tree and watch you die.

I wish that I had never heard of religion.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

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Moral Minority
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Postby Moral Minority » Mon May 26, 2008 1:44 pm

Granted. Now you don't know of its evils.

I wish people would stop joking.


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