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angus argyle
Maccheroncelli Missionary
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Postby angus argyle » Thu Sep 27, 2007 1:35 pm

Homer Simpson looking through bible in movie:

"This book doesn't have any answers."

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
Prophet of Pastafarianism
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Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:49 am

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Thu Sep 27, 2007 9:21 pm

Rita Mae Brown wrote:The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

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St John the Blasphemist
Lord of Linguini
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Postby St John the Blasphemist » Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:24 pm

W.C. Fields wrote:You must take the bull by the tail and look the facts in the face


Ben Tucker wrote:In capitalism, man exploits man. In socialism, it's exactly the opposite
Image

Intelligence: What stupid people think they have lots of.
Stupidity: What intelligent people wish they had less of.

I want you to know that everything I did, I did for my country.
- Pol Pot

Check out St JtB's MySpace page here!!

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
Prophet of Pastafarianism
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Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:49 am

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:28 pm

Albert Einstein wrote:The difference between genius and insanity is that genius has its limits.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

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Bal Lance
Ziti Zealot
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Postby Bal Lance » Mon Oct 01, 2007 10:00 pm

Bushisms... cool by all my standards... :) unless of course you like Bush... :( For those of you who read these and favor President George W. Bush, I am very sorry he has bad grammar skills.

President George W. Bush wrote:I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.


President George W. Bush wrote:Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.


President George W. Bush wrote:I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.


President George W. Bush wrote:Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?


President George W. Bush wrote:Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?


President George W. Bush wrote:They misunderestimated me.


President George W. Bush wrote:I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically.


President George W. Bush wrote:I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah.
Signatures are for chumps. Wait a minute...

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ken worley
King of the Pervs
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Postby ken worley » Tue Oct 02, 2007 7:55 am

Bal Lance wrote:
President George W. Bush wrote:I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.



Oh yeah?...Perhaps he hasn't heard of the Candiru'.Image



This penis-shriveling report wrote:However the reason that the Candiru is most feared by humans is because it is the only vertebrate known to parasitize humans! The fish is said to be addicted to the taste and smell of human urine. Candirus parasitize humans, when they are skinny-dipping while urinating in the water. The candiru tastes the urine stream and follows it back to the human. It then swims up the urethra and lodges itself somewhere in the urinary tract with its spines. Blood is drawn, and the candiru gorges itself on the blood and body tissue, its body sometimes expanding due to the amount of blood consumed.

Once inside it would eat away the mucous membranes and tissues until hemorrhage would kill it or the host. It was also said that even if one caught the fish by the tail, once in the urethra it could not be pulled out because it would spread itself like an umbrella. The Candiru can attack both men and women. Penectomy is generally preferred to the misery and pain associated with leaving the fish in the urethra.
Image

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black bart
Resident Weevil
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Location: London

Candiru

Postby black bart » Tue Oct 02, 2007 8:00 am

AAARRRRGH...So that's what be the burnin sensashun in me willy!

If only I hadn't washed me socks in the Limpopo...
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
Prophet of Pastafarianism
Posts: 16633
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:49 am

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Tue Oct 02, 2007 9:34 pm

Spike Milligan wrote:Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

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black bart
Resident Weevil
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Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

homer

Postby black bart » Wed Oct 03, 2007 7:02 am

Homer Simpson: [playing with a pig's tail by pulling it and letting it go] Curly... Straight... Curly... Straight... Curly... Straight...
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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St John the Blasphemist
Lord of Linguini
Posts: 1385
Joined: Sat Oct 01, 2005 2:37 am
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Postby St John the Blasphemist » Wed Oct 03, 2007 8:08 am

Mr Garrison: "There are no stupid questions - Just stupid people."
Image

Intelligence: What stupid people think they have lots of.
Stupidity: What intelligent people wish they had less of.

I want you to know that everything I did, I did for my country.
- Pol Pot

Check out St JtB's MySpace page here!!

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black bart
Resident Weevil
Posts: 24540
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Libby Umbongo

Postby black bart » Wed Oct 03, 2007 8:42 am

Black Bart from the insult thread: YYYAARRR the beverage in yer Tankard is naught but Libby Umbongo!

(and I said that to Blackbeard!)
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
Prophet of Pastafarianism
Posts: 16633
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:49 am

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Wed Oct 03, 2007 10:22 pm

A Dirty Job, by Christopher Moore... wrote:It was two weeks before Charlie left the apartment and walked down to the auto-teller on Columbus Avenue where he first killed a guy. His weapon of choice was the number forty-one bus, on its way from the Trans Bay station, by the Bay Bridge, to the Presidio, by the Golden Gate Bridge. If you're going to get hit by a bus in San Francisco, you want to go with the forty-one, because you can pretty much figure on there being a nice bridge view.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

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black bart
Resident Weevil
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Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Spot

Postby black bart » Fri Oct 05, 2007 6:19 am

Quote from the Black Spot on the Pirate Board:

Arrr, I be sending me crew to night school as well. They be doing

Higher Mathematics (dubloon counting)
Archaeology (digging for treasure)
Metalwork (Hook making)
Chemistry (mixing black powder for the cannons)
Woodwork (fixing the damage caused by the chemistry lessons)

I tell 'ee, this 'ere pirating be a fine life for an academic.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
Prophet of Pastafarianism
Posts: 16633
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:49 am

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:26 pm

Richard Bach wrote:Bad things are not the worst things that can happen to us. NOTHING is the worst thing that can happen to us!
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

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black bart
Resident Weevil
Posts: 24540
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Nothing

Postby black bart » Mon Oct 08, 2007 5:46 am

NOTHING happened to me just then, which seems to be a common occurrence after Redbeard's posts!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.


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