Cool Quotes

[angus argyle]

Homer Simpson looking through bible in movie:

"This book doesn't have any answers."

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

[St John the Blasphemist]

You must take the bull by the tail and look the facts in the face

In capitalism, man exploits man. In socialism, it's exactly the opposite

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

The difference between genius and insanity is that genius has its limits.

[Bal Lance]

Bushisms... cool by all my standards... unless of course you like Bush... For those of you who read these and favor President George W. Bush, I am very sorry he has bad grammar skills.

I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.

Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.

I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

They misunderestimated me.

I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically.

I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah.

[ken worley]

I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.

Oh yeah?...Perhaps he hasn't heard of the Candiru'.

However the reason that the Candiru is most feared by humans is because it is the only vertebrate known to parasitize humans! The fish is said to be addicted to the taste and smell of human urine. Candirus parasitize humans, when they are skinny-dipping while urinating in the water. The candiru tastes the urine stream and follows it back to the human. It then swims up the urethra and lodges itself somewhere in the urinary tract with its spines. Blood is drawn, and the candiru gorges itself on the blood and body tissue, its body sometimes expanding due to the amount of blood consumed.

Once inside it would eat away the mucous membranes and tissues until hemorrhage would kill it or the host. It was also said that even if one caught the fish by the tail, once in the urethra it could not be pulled out because it would spread itself like an umbrella. The Candiru can attack both men and women. Penectomy is generally preferred to the misery and pain associated with leaving the fish in the urethra.

[black bart]

AAARRRRGH...So that's what be the burnin sensashun in me willy!

If only I hadn't washed me socks in the Limpopo...

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

[black bart]

Homer Simpson: [playing with a pig's tail by pulling it and letting it go] Curly... Straight... Curly... Straight... Curly... Straight...

[St John the Blasphemist]

Mr Garrison: "There are no stupid questions - Just stupid people."

[black bart]

Black Bart from the insult thread: YYYAARRR the beverage in yer Tankard is naught but Libby Umbongo!

(and I said that to Blackbeard!)

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

It was two weeks before Charlie left the apartment and walked down to the auto-teller on Columbus Avenue where he first killed a guy. His weapon of choice was the number forty-one bus, on its way from the Trans Bay station, by the Bay Bridge, to the Presidio, by the Golden Gate Bridge. If you're going to get hit by a bus in San Francisco, you want to go with the forty-one, because you can pretty much figure on there being a nice bridge view.

[black bart]

Quote from the Black Spot on the Pirate Board:

Arrr, I be sending me crew to night school as well. They be doing

Higher Mathematics (dubloon counting)
Archaeology (digging for treasure)
Metalwork (Hook making)
Chemistry (mixing black powder for the cannons)
Woodwork (fixing the damage caused by the chemistry lessons)

I tell 'ee, this 'ere pirating be a fine life for an academic.

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

Bad things are not the worst things that can happen to us. NOTHING is the worst thing that can happen to us!

[black bart]

NOTHING happened to me just then, which seems to be a common occurrence after Redbeard's posts!