The Person Below Me

[Ravi Oli]

Hope you didn't get done for walking around with an offensive wife. Now that is serious...

Like me, TPBM no longer watches the evening news on commercial channels.

[DavidH]

That's exactly where I do watch it, because the BBC can't be trusted and the journalism is often poor anyway.

TPBM also wishes they knew what's really going on.

[Ravi Oli]

Yes I'm just a mushroom... kept in the dark and fed bullsh!t.

TPBM has discovered a way to harvest cow farts as a renewable energy source.

[pieces o'nine]

Alas, I live where the cow farts are ... solid.


TPBM has a plan for that contingency.

[DavidH]

As a Herefordian, yes.

TPBM has taken advantage of a sheep while it's got its head down eating a turnip.

[Ravi Oli]

As bart's attorney, I wish to state on his behalf he categorically denies ^ that statement as hearsay and scandalmongering and besides the sheep was a willing participant.

T Bogun BM has both dress and casual pairs of sheepskin boots.

[black bart]

Strewth, why did I wear me kangeroo onesie to the dunny!

TPBM is fond of keeping his valuables in a pouch.

[Ravi Oli]

Yeah the 'roo scrotum is indeed versatile to say the least!



TPBM just got an irresistable urge to scratch themselves.

[black bart]

New Balls!

TPBM can't wait for Wimbledon.

[DavidH]

I can't wait for it to be over. I hate it, but it's impossible to drag the missus away from the telly for the whole two weeks - apart from the day she actually goes there.

TPBM would also prefer hemhorroid surgery without anaesthetic to watching tennis.

[black bart]

The only thing to make it worse is if Cliff Richard turns up to entertain the crowd in the rain...bring back Billy Jean King...and shoot her.

TPBM thinks Yvonne Gulagong was a disease of Australian cattle.

[DavidH]

It's some kind of pond, I believe, beside which jolly swagmen sit and have a jumbuck in their tucker-bag.

TPBM likes his squatter mounted on a thoroughbred.

[Ravi Oli]

...and pleasures.

Fetishes are something TPBM knows all about.

[pieces o'nine]

I know about a lot of things, but I'm sure you're more knowledgeable than me on this one.

TPBM bows to Ravi's expertise as well.

[Ravi Oli]

Thank you for your kind acknowledgement pieces but that thing with the feather boa and a pineapple is entirely your own.

TPBM uses a real live boa constrictor.