The Person Below Me

[black bart]

Strewth, why did I wear me kangeroo onesie to the dunny!

TPBM is fond of keeping his valuables in a pouch.

[Ravi Oli]

Yeah the 'roo scrotum is indeed versatile to say the least!



TPBM just got an irresistable urge to scratch themselves.

[black bart]

New Balls!

TPBM can't wait for Wimbledon.

[DavidH]

I can't wait for it to be over. I hate it, but it's impossible to drag the missus away from the telly for the whole two weeks - apart from the day she actually goes there.

TPBM would also prefer hemhorroid surgery without anaesthetic to watching tennis.

[black bart]

The only thing to make it worse is if Cliff Richard turns up to entertain the crowd in the rain...bring back Billy Jean King...and shoot her.

TPBM thinks Yvonne Gulagong was a disease of Australian cattle.

[DavidH]

It's some kind of pond, I believe, beside which jolly swagmen sit and have a jumbuck in their tucker-bag.

TPBM likes his squatter mounted on a thoroughbred.

[Ravi Oli]

...and pleasures.

Fetishes are something TPBM knows all about.

[pieces o'nine]

I know about a lot of things, but I'm sure you're more knowledgeable than me on this one.

TPBM bows to Ravi's expertise as well.

[Ravi Oli]

Thank you for your kind acknowledgement pieces but that thing with the feather boa and a pineapple is entirely your own.

TPBM uses a real live boa constrictor.

[daftbeaker]

How else am I supposed to get fresh squeezed orange juice? I'm not doing it myself, that takes effort.

TPBM got thrown out of the Voter Apathy movement for being too keen.

[Ravi Oli]

I actually got fined for not voting at the last State Election. There was a lot happening in my life and on the day just didn't get around to chosing between incumbent government that had sold off most of our assets and utilities and the contender that would give the rest away. The fine is escalating due to non-payment but the feckers can make me do time [at a greater expense to community] if they have to because they can shove it up their bums sideways.

TPBM hasn't let the rebelious fires of youth be quenched.

[daftbeaker]

Well, it was a white flag. I was busy surrendering to militant atheism and rampant secularism but then I had a nose bleed and there weren't any tissues nearby.

TPBM understands Norman "gay marriage means I can marry my son to avoid inheritance tax" Tebbit.

[DavidH]

No, I've forgotten it, if I ever knew.

TPBM will rectify my deficiency.

[Ravi Oli]

I remember one that goes:
Q. Did you hear about the Irishman who tried to blow up a bus?
A. He badly burned his lips.

TPBM is still searching for a leprechaun or rainbow to lead them to a pot of gold.

[black bart]

You must be joking...have you seen the state of the Irish Economy!

TPBM thinks it's time to "SELL,SELL, SELL."