Lines you would not expect to hear in a superhero movie

black bart · Postby **black bart** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:22 am

Quick Robin, back to the bat caravan.

Bwa ha ha ha, that's right Spiderman, you are trapped, trapped in an enormous bath.

Rev. Rowan Redbeard · Postby **Rev. Rowan Redbeard** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:27 am

Hero: You defeated me...*ghurk* (expires)

fueledbycoffee · Postby **fueledbycoffee** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:42 am

Yo, RRR, they either did or are making a movie based on Death of Superman. I can't remember if it's out yet. You are thus defeated.

Look, guys, I know you're evil and all, but why don't we just order some cosmos, maybe get a taco, sit down and talk this whole thing out!?

Ooh, look, Hors D'oeurves!

I'm sorry, Batman, but your nipples, Oh god, your nipples! They're just so alluring... I MUST TOUCH THEM!
No, Robin, not in front of the press!

Edd · Postby **Edd** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:46 am

Why, yes, even though you are my arch-nemesis and a bus full of nuns and orphans is slowly sinking into a pool of lava as we speak, I’ll gladly take a walk along the beach with you.

Rev. Rowan Redbeard · Postby **Rev. Rowan Redbeard** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:46 am

Fine.

Hero: I wonder what this button does? *pushes button and blows up Earth*

fueledbycoffee · Postby **fueledbycoffee** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:51 am

The Strangers in Paradise superhero issue... Okay, damn, they never made that into a movie. In that case:

Send them, men! Send in the ATTACK KOALAS!

FIN FANG FOOM PUTS YOU IN HIS PANTS!

Death to fleshies!

Heh, they'll never make a Nextwave movie.

Rev. Rowan Redbeard · Postby **Rev. Rowan Redbeard** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:53 am

I'd love to save your life, but you gotta show me some tittie first.

Moral Minority · Postby **Moral Minority** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 2:31 pm

Muahahahaha! Now that I have your attention, Iron Man, I will perform my Can-Can in go-go boots!

Elastoman · Postby **Elastoman** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 2:35 pm

"To hell with the hostages, I'm on my lunch hour."

Moral Minority · Postby **Moral Minority** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 2:41 pm

'Ha! I will now spontaneously combust!'

Edd · Postby **Edd** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 3:27 pm

This looks like a job for … a policeman. You should really call 911.

Elastoman · Postby **Elastoman** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 3:28 pm

You're welcome, Mister Mayor. I know that The Devastatrix was a threat to not just the city, but the world. It was a long, arduous battle, and I have emerged victorious. Now about my fee...

Rev. Rowan Redbeard · Postby **Rev. Rowan Redbeard** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:08 pm

Villain: And now, instead of monologuing and leaving you to die, I will shoot you in the head and check to make sure that you are really dead.

Detective TurtleHolmes · Postby **Detective TurtleHolmes** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 11:38 pm

Hero: "City, I just saved your ass from that big ol' meteor. That'll be sixteen thousand dollars, including GST."

Villain: "You know, I'm really not up to it today. Let someone else try and blow up Gotham for once."

Batman: "Robin, you really f**ked up this time."

Elastoman · Postby **Elastoman** » Sat Jul 26, 2008 3:11 am

Superman walks into the United Nations, smoke still rising from his tattered cape. His costume, thought to be as impervious as his body, is in ruins. He's barely decent - his unmentionables are hidden by a complimentary towel from the hotel he ended up in when Luthor's latest invention exploded somewhere above the arctic circle. He turns to the collected leaders of the world, presses his hair back into it's immaculate coiffure, and speaks:

"You are all fucking stupid. Get your shit together or I kill you all. End of fucking story. For fuck's sake, people! Just cut it the fuck out!"

~E.

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Lines you would not expect to hear in a superhero movie

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