How many people have read the bible?

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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby Qwertyuiopasd » Thu Sep 05, 2013 5:04 pm

Almighty Doer of Stuff wrote:What variety is it?

For some reason this question makes me think of Bibles (or may scriptures in general) as like Pokemon, and now I want there to be a game that is pokemon with Bibles or scriptures instead of monsters. They can even evolve and everything! Vulgate evolved into King James! Tanak learned new ability: Mishnah!

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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby black bart » Fri Sep 06, 2013 8:05 am

Almighty Doer of Stuff wrote:Is it a nice one? What variety is it? Does it have accent marks on the names of people and places like my nice but crumbling pocket KJV Bible? What about editorial notes and musings?

I might take it off your hands, if you really don't want it...

(I have four or five Bibles at this point, but each one, except for the cheapo one I've been reading, has been nice to look at, if nothing else, and I wouldn't mind aquiring more.)

That was a long, long time ago matey...afore I turned to Piracy and forget the ways of thee Lord wot me granny beat into me every Sunday mornin wiv a smile.

Seriously it was Christmas 1967 or something!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby PirateHelloKitty » Sat Apr 30, 2016 8:13 am

Sorry to resurrect this thread.

I read the bible through at least three times cover to cover. I usually read chapters at a time or look up different topics with a concordance or internet search.

I have asked many Christians if they have read the bible. Most have not. Not cover to cover or even chapters at a a time. Some say they read it everyday but they are usually referring to some subscribed publication that gives them a daily verse or two and some feel good meditation.

Some parts are really boring and others are interesting. I really hate the genocide parts where either god or his army is commanded to kill. Those parts disturb me.

Currently I am reading koran. If you thought the bible was bad for genocide then read the koran. It keeps repeating over and over that god (or whoever) hates the unbelievers and how he is going to punish them and what the believers should do to them. Want to understand ISL, read the koran. Besides that it is most boring book I have ever read. Oh sorry, no one asked.

I always thought that the purpose of religion should be to make a person a better human being and offer guidance in their relationships with other humans and in taking care of our home the planet earth. Too bad I found out I was wrong.

I try to be non genocide as possible. I have the potential for extreme violence like most people. In practice I try to only use force when I have been physically attacked and then only as much force as necessary. Better if I can go away or call the authorities. I like to keep out of trouble. But I do realize that genocide is not all just the violence. There are several stages of genocide on the way to the violence. I hope that people are aware of these. Please google genocide and look at some educational sites such as genocide watch.


Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby buttlicking22 » Mon May 30, 2016 2:34 pm

peacefulsongs wrote:
This is frustrating. I don't recall the golden mice or the golden emmerods. Like the not so famous gospel song, "I guess I'll read it again and let it bless my soul."


1 Samuel 6:1-4

1 And the ark of the Lord was in the country of the Philistines seven months.

2 And the Philistines called for the priests and the diviners, saying, What shall we do to the ark of the Lord? tell us wherewith we shall send it to his place.

3 And they said, If ye send away the ark of the God of Israel, send it not empty; but in any wise return him a trespass offering: then ye shall be healed, and it shall be known to you why his hand is not removed from you.

4 Then said they, What shall be the trespass offering which we shall return to him? They answered, Five golden emerods, and five golden mice, according to the number of the lords of the Philistines: for one plague was on you all, and on your lords.

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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby ET, the Extra Terrestrial » Tue May 31, 2016 3:53 pm

I always thought the line was "Five Golden Rings".
"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."
("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")
-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)
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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby ChowMein » Thu Jun 02, 2016 3:53 pm

Thanks juicegiver , i forgot where that passage was as well .
I thought the mice were gold plated figurines , like the ceramic give aways from Red Rose Tea boxes .

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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby Skeptical Skepticism » Sat Jan 07, 2017 7:57 pm

I have read the Bible 15 times to date. Working on my sixteenth.

I have also read the Quran twice.

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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby StayThirstyMyAguila » Tue Jan 10, 2017 5:20 pm

I've read more than a lot of Christians have. So part of Genesis.
How do you think that noisicmucric (read it backwards, I'm still on school wi-fi) between Abraham and God went?
God: Abraham!
Abraham: Oh hey God, wassup?
God: I need you to do something for me.
Abraham: Sure, what ya want man, you're God.
God: I need you to cut off part of your [oh wow look at that school wi-fi over there].
Abraham: . . .
God: Abraham?
Abraham: . . . How about I build you two more boats, and sacrifice my first child?
God: No.
Abraham: I'm sorry what did you kssshhssh say I thin- kshshshs you're brea- kshshs -ing up kshsshsh
God: Abraham.
Abraham: I'm sor- kshshs I can'- kshshs -ear yo- kshshshshshshshshhhhh.

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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby Cardinal Fang » Tue Jan 10, 2017 6:04 pm

Reminded of the joke in "The Bible (Abridged)" by the Reduced Shakespeare Company


Abraham to God: I’ll give you anything you want to prove my devotion to you. Just ask.

God to Abraham: Give me the foreskin of your penis.

Abraham to God: (stunned silence)

Abraham to God: What’s a foreskin?

God to Abraham: It’s that useless piece of skin attached to the end of your penis.

Abraham to God: I thought that was a man.

God to Abraham: No, that’s the other end.

Abraham to God: But why do you want my foreskin?

God to Abraham: I'm making a wallet. When I rub it, it'll turn into a suitcase.

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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby StayThirstyMyAguila » Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:29 am

Cardinal Fang wrote:
Abraham to God: I’ll give you anything you want to prove my devotion to you. Just ask.


How do you think his wife felt about it?
Abraham and his wife wrote:Wife: REALLY, Abraham?? I think you're taking this God thing way too far. What's next, sacrificing our eldest son?!
Abraham: Yeah about that . . .

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