Saints = Inspirational Pirates in Fiction?

[Duckfoot]

Greetings and salutations!
I apologize if I'm posting in the wrong place, if what I'm about to post has been said/done before, and if what I'm about to post is totally absurd and potentially blasphemous. Here goes:

I think Pastafarians should be able to select Pirate Saints! Yes, that's right. Not real people though. Oh no, if real people could be made Saints we'd have a new person every three months demanding saint-hood.
I think that fictional characters should be made Pirate Saints. You know, such as 'Captain Jack Sparrow' and... 'Guybrush Threepwood'! Fictional pirates like that who some of us may think really embody parts of the piratey spirit. (If you don't know who Guybrush Threepwood is, wiki "Monkey Island." If you don't know who Jack Sparrow is... I'm sorry.)

So does anyone have any thoughts/criticisms/inclinationstokeelhaulme?

[Jean Bart]

"Fictional pirates"? Now there's a blasphemy!
That would mean that today's FSM Pirates turn out to have named themselves after FSM Saints? Well, some of them, like yours truly...

[Duckfoot]

"Fictional pirates"? Now there's a blasphemy!
That would mean that today's FSM Pirates turn out to have named themselves after FSM Saints? Well, some of them, like yours truly...

Well again, I apologize. I haven't read the Gospel yet and the idea just came to me, so I decided to write it down in the only place I could think of.

I'm not giving up on this topic though until someone closes it.
*sits quietly and waits for more replies*

[Jean Bart]

Nothing to apologize for: I actually tried to say that most Pastafians don't make that much difference between real and fictional pirates... FSM is too tolerant to care about (and most of the time too drunk to notice) the difference anyway, and to leave Jack Sparrow out of CoFSM would be a pity indeed.

[Dagfinn]

Then let the compilation of piratical saints commence, YARRR!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_pirates

Any suggestions as to the criteria for sainthood, me hearties?

[St John the Blasphemist]

I decided to canonise myself years ago--mind you I became a saint from a Discordian perspective long before CoFSM started (officially that is). You too can do it, if you can think of anything I haven't taken yet.

All you need to do is be martyred for your beliefs (which happens to me all the time), and perform three miracles (I've performed hundreds of them).

Easy.

St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Everything That Hasn't Been Taken Yet

[Duckfoot]

Any suggestions as to the criteria for sainthood, me hearties?

The only criteria for Pirate Sainthood I can think of are:
1. Being a pirate
2. Being (in)famous
3. Having done things, or acted in such a way that modern pirates could look up to, at least loosely

With the above in mind, I'd nominate:
Captain Jack Sparrow
Guybrush Threepwood
Anne Bonny
Mary Read
Calico Jack

Please, keep 'em coming.

[Dagfinn]

Grace O'Malley - the Pirate Queen - is a given.



The saints of Catholicism are given care of specific domains and concerns. Should this be the case with Piraticals as well?

[Jean Bart]

Grace O'Malley - the Pirate Queen - is a given.



The saints of Catholicism are given care of specific domains and concerns. Should this be the case with Piraticals as well?

Be careful then: in the church of a little village near my place, people came from abroad to see an image (one of the stained glass windows) of a saint, whom (?) had been asked favors for quite some of centuries. A couple of decades ago the person turned out not to be on any list of saints, although she had been popular (and efficient!) enough to deserve a stained glass window! The locals still refer to her as "saint": she had done the job well enough, probably...

[Duckfoot]

Grace O'Malley - the Pirate Queen - is a given.



The saints of Catholicism are given care of specific domains and concerns. Should this be the case with Piraticals as well?

Personally, I think not. There are too many pirates and not enough "domains and concerns" IMO. Of course I don't think I'd get the final word on such a thing...

Thanks for the addition to the list, btw! Lovely picture, too.

[LancasterFollows]

I think many out there who are fictional people, unconscious hosts to pirate spirits and potential followers of His Noodley Appendage masquerading as the average joe till they eventually find Pastafarianism in all its glory. I say, why not have fictional pirate saints?

[Alyss]

There is no need to be so picky: simply make a list as long or as short as you like. After all, Pastafarianism is different in every man/woman's heart. For example, why not make Blackbeard the pirate saint of black beards? That's a good thing to be a pirate saint of, if you ask me.

[biologygirl]

I'm voting for Dread Pirate Roberts, patron saints of princesses and brides! Hmm... maybe a saint of reincarnation? Same spirit in new people.... hmm.

Although, is reincarnation an option in FSM Heaven? For when/if we get bored of strippers and beer.

[BlackFridayxRule]

yeah....wtf

fictional pirates as saints? thats basically saying our religion is a falsification and distortion of realities. Pirates as portrayed in modern culture are the antithesis of what we know pirates to be.

i applaud you for your efforts, but think about it next time.

[BlackFridayxRule]

p.s., for those of you who were unaware or have forgotten, pirates are divine beings who are nice and give candy to small children which does NOT entail taking them into the back of a van. all these pirates here are killers and robbers...and shit.