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Missive from St. Prego: Feast Days and Holidays

Postby sri_ricky_jean » Fri Nov 04, 2005 11:15 am

St. Prego visited me last night in a dream. He was adamant that I share the following missive concerning the celebration of feast days and holy days with all mortal earthlings:

Jan. 2: Day of St. Parmagiano

March 3: Day of St. Prego

July 16: Foebels’ Day (Foebels’ is pronounced /fee-belz/). On this day, we honor a great race of sentinent beings in shiny flying saucers who chanced across the great Lord Flying Spaghetti Monster while cruising the galaxy. Their encounter with Him put them into such a state of ecstasy that they immediately headed their flying saucers into the Virtudinous Black Hole, and have never been heard from again. It is unclear whether the term “Foebelâ€￾ refers to the name of the race, or the name of their flying saucers, but in any case, it is customary to celebrate their day by cooking large meatballs that have been flattened into the shape of flying saucers over an open flame that is said to represent the heat of a nearby star. Nowadays we call these flattened meatballs ‘foebels’, and they are often served with a thick tomato sauce seasoned with vinegar. Pasta, if it is served with foebels at all, is usually served cold, in a white sauce made with eggs and oil. However, many prefer to serve their foebels with a cold potato dish in a similar white sauce. Perhaps the potatoes are to represent meteors? In any case, many families choose to take holidays near the time of Foebels’ Day so that they may frolic on the beach or lake front and engage in other games to celebrate the day while they sear their foebels over open flames.

Sept. 6: Day of St. Ragu

Sept. 7: Day of St. Pesto

Oct. 23: Pastabration. On this day, we must fast from dawn’s first light until sunset. However, we may drink pasta water (the water that pasta has been cooked in) during the day. At dusk, there is a large feast of pasta in as many forms as the cook can manage to prepare. Celebrants begin to babble with the heady rush of ecstasy that may come about 20 minutes after beginning the pasta feast. This feeling of ecstasy is a sign of blessing from Lord Flying Spaghetti Monster, and only the truly faithful will experience it. Anyone who does not fast on this day will receive 50 lashes with a wet spaghetti noodle.

St. Prego also noted that he was delighted to see so many young people celebrating our holy Friday each week by breaking bread together whose surface is covered with the symbolic sticky ooze of Lord Flying Spaghetti Monster, dotted with chunks of vegetables or meats from all the planets of the realm and blessings from Saints Parmagiano and Mozzarella.

Unfortunately, I cannot remember the end of the dream completely, but I do believe there was one more holiday to be celebrated sometime in February. On this day, people in white pirates’ costumes toss handfuls of spaghetti sauce at each other and shoot spaghetti sauce covered meatballs from special meatball guns. When you get hit with a meatball, it doesn’t hurt, but it makes a big mess. And that’s the whole point of the day. It isn’t clear whether this is a religious holiday or a secular celebration of some kind. There was also mention of a holiday that involves jumping over 10 gallon pots of boiling spaghetti while whistling the pirate song from Disney’s version of Peter Pan—do you think it’s connected with our religion, or someone else’s?

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Holy Days

Postby Swatopluk » Fri Nov 04, 2005 12:11 pm

Why do we put up with the pagan names of days, months etc.?
Is there already a calendar discussion on this forum?
Although by profession and custom, it should be St.Bobby (a physicist), who knows best about those things.
Some proposals

(or something into that direction, not necessarily in that order.
Posh Pastach (Excuse my Pastyddish)!
Onward noodly pirates!
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Postby fusiontortellini » Fri Nov 04, 2005 10:42 pm

I, personally, think we should declare every 31st of a month Halloween. Which would make the 1st day of the month following a Hallow's day. So we'd have to think of six more things to hallow. . .
Who really might actually be back this time . . .

May the Fiori be with you. And may It have Meatballs.

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Holy Days are here again

Postby Swatopluk » Sat Nov 05, 2005 11:18 am

First action:
Our Holy day, the Friday, must be renamed Fry-Day(1).
The day before that: Thirst-Day(7) (because we thirst for both the holy fryday and the sacred mug o'Ale, reminding us of the Great Beer Volcano we'll see in the hereafter.
Then there is Song-Day(3), where we practice the YoHoHo! and study the newest hymns in His praise.
Forn-Day(4), where we practice the fornication we had to miss due to our pirate-poor daily life (no Porn-Day, that's beyond even the flimsiest moral standards).
Soup-day(5), in order to consume the sacred Ramen.
Pasta day(2), an extra portion of divine food, because fryday(1) is not nearly sufficient to eat enough of it.
Waiters-Day(6), where we post the order for all the divine food we will consume on fryday and pastaday.

So, today is Pastaday. I just had a nice pizza for lunch.

His Noodly appendage may touch us all!
Onward noodly pirates!


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Postby Solipsy » Fri Nov 11, 2005 4:22 am

Our weekly Holy Day is Friday, as is well-established. International Talk Like a Pirate Day, September 19 of each year, is our High Holy Day. fusiontortellini, I think it might not be a bad idea to move a thread over into the Prop Scrip area for Holidays... I'll drop this one over there.
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Postby NeferKa » Thu Jun 22, 2006 3:24 am

Happy Spaghetti Solstice, everyone! (I think all of our prior discussion about this has been moved to the Old Posts, and I didn’t want to start a new topic.)

I think the Solstice was technically yesterday, but I work overnights, so my schedule is completely off. Did anyone dress up like a pirate and eat spaghetti to celebrate the longest day of the year? I’m having to push my celebration off until the weekend because of work and class.

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