Loose Canon Submissions - The Ritual Book

[The Dark Noodle]

Accepted or rejected? How does this whole thing work?

Once the deadline has pasted the Council will review all the submissions and once everything has been considered it will publish the canonised text.

[m610]

Thanks, and pardon my impatience.

[Dechujoh64]

Thanks, and pardon my impatience.

No worries.
but if you do think up above anything else between now and the deadline it shall go through the same process as your first writing.

[m610]

Thanks. Fresh out of ideas at the moment, but it was fun writing the first one, so, maybe.

Also, not sure if the references to Elizabeth (Elizabeth Warren, US Senate), the donkey (Democratic Party) will be as obvious to non-US readers. I guess it would be like referring the a specific Roman senator back in "Biblical times".

Mike

[bonsaiherb]

Cardinal Fang suggested that I post something I had written in response to his "creation story. I think the two should go together. I consider it to be early Gospel. (Genesis) I will post my version from my home site as I hope some of the links may survive. http://sweetgeodes.com/senft/?page_id=2432

In the midst of the seas there was a great void. It was a time of deep darkness, before the first crustacean or fish. Into this amphibious void came the Giant Octopi known as FSM. With his eight tentacles, enormous testicles and all seeing eyes he created the Cephalopods known as Octopi and Squid.

The oceans were colorless at that time, so he squirted his great inkiness into this domain. The shallow seas remained churned by the gods of the air and the coloration was blue. The remainder of his inkiness settled downward and the ocean became ever darker and the creatures of the land could not penetrate those great depths.

The FSM gave the care of the sea that surrounded him to his minions and they can be found guarding the oceans under the boulders he had deposited for them to live under. FSM filled the seas with living things: diatoms and krill to feed new swimming creatures of every sort. He even created squid and penguins that would dine upon the multitude. He created sharks, turtles and whales. Some of these even ventured upon the land. The whales would return. His angels the flying squid could even fly.

To the coastal regions he created Kelp and in this sub domain of great forests would be the sea anemone, crab, starfish and non-gilled animals like the seal. On the fifth day he was satisfied, and sank to the deep abyss of his Pacific ocean. Centered near Hawaii, his tentacles reached from East to West and North to South, breathing life into the Pacific Rim with every quiver of his body.

Soon creatures (he had not breathed his soul into) would intrude. From land, they would sail upon his domain and harvest the Whale and Octopus. Even his archangel the Giant Squid or Kraken could not end this plague on the oceans. This would make him furious and he would stretch his limbs and pull on these tectonic hinges causing, fire, eruptions, quakes and tsunamis to cull out those he had not created. In his greatest anger he flooded the pustules of land and thought it was it was good.
It did not work and even today he battles against the angel who had ascended to rule the lands he could not convert.


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I added this edit: full of links. All below could be deleted.
Kelp noodle recipe and to make you cry watch this video by Carl Sagan – Pale Blue Dot

EDIT: I usually do not slum for comments but in this instance I will. I had fun with this and a ‘Lucifer’ is always needed in a creation story. This is a post that needs a follow up - including “ I would love to hear more about this foe , this angel who gives him trouble.”

Wish I had a clue on this one, but I don’t. Same for prophets or old testament revelations! Perhaps we landlubbers are all in ‘Hell” already – that is why I put the ocean noises in and the ending with Carl Sagan. As I see it, humankind doesn’t deserve the life space any more. Any story line submitted would be credited to the author- web links included.

A friend of mine is a Parrot rescue person and her focus is on these feathered relatives of ours. I tend to be more inclusive and every time I see the dead tropical fish in Wall mart being scooped out with a net, it just makes me cringe. Nature and other life forms have become disposable entertainment for our empty consumer lives. Fish are complex, intelligent creatures as well, and don’t belong in aquarium’s no more than a parrot belongs in a cage. Have we become so impoverished that we need to imprison other life forms? Perhaps, because we just can’t stand our own company?

I Note that the links do not work. Feel free to edit or delete whatever. [url]Octopus sports http://sweetgeodes.com/senft/?p=2488[/url] As you can see, I still have not figured out to put in a normal link on this site.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

Tha vitchoowul ritchoowul ove tha bananana

By Nef yoo blackbeard

Age free

Git ye yon banana dat haz turndid yello en culur for et b wipe
Ramin
Git ye not yon banana wot b gween en cullur Ramin
For dow mytist gitist tha leeky dyapurr
Ramin
En din ye b sorwy
Ramin

Holdist tha banana wiff tha not curvy end en yer han din grabist tha ovver end en pullist doun slo takin wun peece uf banana coat aweigh .
Strippist a weigh tha ovver peecez uf banana coat untilist she b nikked .
Din dow mayist et tha banana oar maykist ovver yummy stuff wiff dem !
Ramin

rrrrrrrrr

[DavidH]

Neff Yoo, you know you're really four.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

noooo
i b 3 rrrrr