Submit your scriptural writings for inclusion in the Loose Canon, and your tales of ancient FSM Lore, as well as any other FSM-related writing you may have.

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Ziti Zealot
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Re: Marriages

Postby Roonie » Thu Aug 28, 2008 7:55 pm

Actually, some states in the U.S. will recognize a "common law" marriage. (I have no idea for other countries.) But it's really pretty simple, actually. If you:

1) can legally get married
2) agree to get married
3) fuck
4) live together
and 5) tell people your married

then these states will recognize your marriage, without any sort of ordained minister. The idea is that marriage is a contract, and so if you agree to it and people rely on the fact that you're married, then it would (probably) be unequitable to many different parties to deny the legal status of the marriage.

So this means that we can have our marriage ceremony without having to deal with the priest/minister issue at all. Of course, a true Pastafarian marriage would have to be officiated by a Pirate Captain, preferably at sea.

I'm new here, but thats my $.02

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Re: Marriages

Postby joeybsmash » Sun Aug 31, 2008 9:01 pm

since we're talking about marriage here i thought i might bump this thread here
the captain would also need to officiate over the other milestones of life, like a pastism or funeral. If he has to have a real job during the day, he should be in charge of keeping the beer and rum.
so when not functioning as the head of a religion, the priest's job would be to run the liquor store.

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Maccheroncelli Missionary
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Re: Marriages

Postby Karban » Sat Sep 27, 2008 12:15 pm


Just watch Yellowbeard

Any Pirate worth his Parrot would give both his wooden legs for a chance at this....Garrr Matey!!!!

Isssthmus! Isthmus? Issthmus! Issssthmus!

Marinara Minister
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Re: Marriages

Postby Marinara Minister » Sun Oct 12, 2008 2:09 am

Hello, fellow adherents. As I doubt many people regularly check the new converts thread, I'll reintroduce myself. I am Father Marinara. I have long followed the teachings of His Noodlieness, even before I had felt the touch of His great Noodly Appendage. As such, I sought to get myself ordained through the ULC, and have been performing marraiges in my home state for a few years now. To be sure my ordination was fully leagal, I did some research, some of which is relevant to this discussion.

An unordained Pirate captain (or any other ship captian) is not a legal minister in the state of California. This may not hold true in other states (bloody federalism!) but it is true here.

With that being said, I propose that we Pastafarians need to take up the mantle of marriage and find a way to legally ordain our captains. Is not the Great FSM the perfect marraige of Pasta, Sauce and Meat Balls? Should not His followers be allowed the same honors that followers of other, less piratical monsters fight to protect against the oppressed?

For anyone interested, I am based in Southern California, and I am an ordained minister, who will from this point forward identify myself as a Pastafarian. Until such time that I can officially be bathed in the Sauce of His Noodlieness, I will maintain my previous ordination. I am, however, willing to perform wedding ceremonies as a Pastafarian minister, for any follower of the teachings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Anyone interested in a more complete development of the ceremony, I'm all pasta.

Pasta be with you all, RAmen.
Proof of FSM's Greatness:

"Flying Spaghetti Monster" has thousands, if not dozens, of Spaghetigrams.

"God" has but one: Dog.

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Conchigliette Convert
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Location: Les Isles de La Manche


Postby Cheese » Thu Oct 16, 2008 12:58 pm

evilbelgian wrote:I think an actual marriage ceremony needs to be devised. with words that the Pirate Captain would say.

Not only am I a Pirate, but I do have a boat. na na n' na na :D

I reckon marriages should follow the exact same procedure as for boat naming (and re-naming) ceremonies........which involves simply making things up as you go along :)

Legal Paperwork? IMO that is a seperate issue. My boat got renamed after me late wife (who BTW now lives on the Moon - different religion (Foreign) 8) ) - I have yet to file my legal paperwork but the boat is still renamed and if some busybody from the Govt tries to claim otherwise I will run them through........still working on a "Battle Flag" :D Probably will add his Noodliness somewhere :worship:

Marriage is all in the mind - Legal paperwork? nothing to do with "marriage".
their are folk whose job it is to suck the fun out of everything - including FSM - they be called the stick worshippers :worship:

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Angel-Hair Archmage
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Re: Marriages

Postby Angel-Hair Archmage » Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:14 am

You could just go to a Pirate themed hotel, casino, resort in Vegas and get married there. They dont care how you get married as long as you pay $100 a pop
The FLying Spaghetti Monster watches over the Kingdom, out of site, but not out of our minds...

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Ham Nox
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Re: Marriages

Postby Ham Nox » Tue Jan 26, 2010 2:13 pm

Having a boat isn't practical for every priest, it's true...

I propose the qualifications for ordination be thus:
1) Person in question must announce themselves to be an active Pastafarian who has made at least some effort to research what we really belief.
2) Person in question must be over the Age of 18.
3) Person in question must take a pledge encompassing the overall goals of the church, witnessed by at least 3 respectable members. (A youtube video'll work)
My draft submission, modeled after the Hippocratic Oath:
I swear by Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster, Pesto Be Upon Him, and all the great pirates, and piratesses, both short and tall, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfill according to my ability and judgment this oath and this covenant:

I will hold dear and respected to me, them who taught me in the ways of the faith; and if necessary, to share my good fortune with them.

I will hold to the greatest esteem that which is good and wholesome and true, and revile at that which is harmful and false, and strive in all things to abide by the Flimsy Moral Standards.

I will freely share my knowledge with all who desire to know truth.

I will apply all measures required for the good of my crew, as according to my ability and my judgment, but never to force such measures upon them unheeded.

I will remember that there is respect and open-mindededness in the Pastafarian way as well as piracy and humor, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding towards others may outweigh unshakable faith and perfect Piratese.

I will not make judgments, for no Pastafarian may judge who is a better, truer, or finer Pastafarian.

I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call on my brethren when the skills of another are needed in my pursuits.

I will respect the privacy of those who seek my help and knowledge, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know.

I must not abuse my powers, for with great power comes great responsibility.

I will remember that I do not counsel a theological paradox, or a misinterpretation of ancient canonical text, but a fellow human being, whose spiritual confusion may affect the person's family and physical and emotional stability. My responsibility also includes these related problems, if I am to offer spiritual guidance.

If I fulfill this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and piracy, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter; if I transgress it and swear falsely, may the opposite of all this be my lot.

4) Person in question must swear that they are absolutely truthful and serious, on pain of getting tripped and bitch-slapped by every Pastafarian who can get their hands on you if this turns out to be a joke.
5) As for getting it legally acknowledged, Person in question may send a copy of the pledge's acknowledgment signatures and a short letter of their qualifications and intentions to the Council of Olive Garden or Bobby H and they may send back a quick Microsoft Word certificate.

((And I know.. I'm using they instead of his/her.
Bayes Theorum:
............................P(X|A) * P(A)
P(A|X) = -----------------------------------
...............P(X|A) * P(A) + P(X|~A) * P(~A)

If I have learnt anything, it is that life forms no logical patterns. It is haphazard and full of beauties which I try to catch as they fly by, for who knows whether any of them will ever return?
Margot Fonteyn

~*L'Nox ti notve*~

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Ubi Dubium
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Re: Marriages

Postby Ubi Dubium » Wed Jan 27, 2010 6:21 pm

Ham Nox wrote:((And I know.. I'm using they instead of his/her.

Don't worry - Zankou, our resident grammar nazi, has been AWOL for awhile now. Your bad grammar is safe for now.

However, be warned, UDK#1 is a usage nazi. If you use an obviously incorrect word, she'll be after you.
Open your mind, but not so far your brain falls out

"Hurry up, before we all come to our senses!" - King Julien

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