You can only leave a message?

[Ubi Dubium]

I remember the Reverend Will B. Dunn! He was in the comic strip Kudzu (which my paper no longer carries).

[Vezon]

"Hello, God? This is Vezon. I really nead a day off so could you give someone a case of swine flu tomarrow? Thanks for your time. Bye."

[Scott the Pirate]

"Hey there god, it's Scott. I know that we havent talked since i realized that there's no logical way i can believe in you and still call myself rational, but i've been looking for a job for a frickin' year! I mean COME ON! What possible message can there be here? I found enlightenment years ago so that can't be it! CUT ME SOME F*UCKING SLACK HERE!"

[Tigger_the_Wing]

Beeeeep…

Hi God. I was wondering…

Excuse me, could you please stop watching that falling sparrow for a moment and pay attention? Thanks.

Well, as I was saying…

Err… I'm sure those lilies are just perfect the way they are. Thank you.

As you well know, hubby and I made various promises nearly thirty years ago to stick together through blah blah blah. Well, we've kept our end of the bargain - we're still together - and I was wondering whether you could keep yours? I really think that it is about time we had some of the nicer conditions you promised; you know the 'and health', 'and wealth' type bits? Not just the poverty and sickness? Ta.

[Dudeman55556]

"Your call is important to Us. Please stay on the line, and your prayer will be answered in the order it was received. To continue in English, press 1. To babble in tongues, press 2..."

Wonderful. You should do standup.