The lore is an ass

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akutheparrot
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The lore is an ass

Postby akutheparrot » Fri Oct 17, 2008 6:29 am

Legal case against God thrown out

Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers filed the lawsuit last year seeking a permanent injunction against God who he said made terrorist threats against him and his Omaha constituents.

Additionally, he said God inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorisation of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants".

The US politician said his case was over the fact that everyone should have access to the courts regardless of whether they have money or not.

However, Douglas County District Court Judge Marlon Polk ruled that under state law a plaintiff must have access to the defendant for a lawsuit to move forward - and this would be rather tricky under the circumstances.

Judge Polk said: "Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice."

But Senator Chambers, a law school graduate, thinks he's found a hole in the judge's ruling.

He said: "The court itself acknowledges the existence of God. A consequence of that acknowledgement is a recognition of God's omniscience.

"Since God knows everything, God has notice of this lawsuit."

Senator Chambers, who has served a record 38 years in the Nebraska Legislature, has 30 days to decide whether to appeal.

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Nibos
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Re: The lore is an ass

Postby Nibos » Mon Oct 20, 2008 7:29 pm

Did it get thrown out because it is impossible to have a lawsuit against something imaginary?
I wish I had a time machine/toilet so I could take a dump when the Civil War was going on.

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Angel-Hair Archmage
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Re: The lore is an ass

Postby Angel-Hair Archmage » Thu Oct 23, 2008 12:14 am

Lols maybe they get the Pope to represent God.
The FLying Spaghetti Monster watches over the Kingdom, out of site, but not out of our minds...
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The Sherbertman
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Re: The lore is an ass

Postby The Sherbertman » Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:33 pm

Haha that would be brilliant! the Pope standing in court having to defend everything bad thats in the bible and that's been done in gods name!

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ken worley
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Re: The lore is an ass

Postby ken worley » Tue Nov 11, 2008 9:24 am

Look for god to hire jhonny cochran, and play the "race card" early and often.
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Edd
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Re: The lore is an ass

Postby Edd » Tue Nov 11, 2008 9:33 am

I can hear Cochran now, 'If the stigmata don't fit, you must acquit.'
"Oook." - The Librarian

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ken worley
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Re: The lore is an ass

Postby ken worley » Tue Nov 11, 2008 11:16 am

"This lawsuit does not make sense....If god is all powerful, as the plaintiff claims, why does the plaitiff's counsel not sit before you now, covered in boils, and pestilence?...Why does he drive a mercedes 500SL, and get regular pieces of strange ass from paralegals/ex-exotic dancers?...That DOES NOT. MAKE. SENSE....Look at the monkey...Look at the silly monkey."
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