Share your personal experiences with God

The place for general discussion about the Flying Spaghetti Monster and most things related to Him.

Moderator: All Things Mods

User avatar
Ziti Zealot
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2008 12:51 pm
Location: Ontario

Share your personal experiences with God

Postby TrueBeliever » Mon Sep 15, 2008 8:17 pm

I have recently had a miraculous and deeply religious experience. His Noodliness actually revealed Herself/Himself/Itself to me. I am not making this up. Yesterday I formally joined our Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I felt good about it. I was at peace with my soul knowing I was finally on the Right Path to Salvation.

But having been a skeptic most of my thinking life, I started to question my decision. Was I too hasty? Did I think it through? But then I turned on the T.V. to watch Mythbusters, one of my favourite shows. And which episode are they currently showing, even as I write this?


I kid you not. You cannot tell me this is a coincidence! THIS IS A SIGN FROM FSM!

I have never felt so spiritual as I do now. Have any of you had similar religious experiences that CANNOT be explained? Please share!
"if we outlaw evolution, only the outlaws will evolve" - probably George Carlin

User avatar
Cannelloni Cannoneer
Posts: 124
Joined: Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:23 pm

Re: Share your personal experiences with God

Postby Apostateabe » Mon Sep 15, 2008 8:45 pm

I was a spagnostic for most of my life. When I first heard about Bobby Henderson's petition, I laughed like it was all a joke. That is how I saw the whole thing at the time--a joke.

And then something occurred that night that made it all real for me. That night, I visited my mother.

She cooked spaghetti.

I fell down on my knees and begged forgiveness from the noodly being. I didn't know what kind of noodly being it was, but I knew that I was wrong for ever doubting. From that point on, I honored the FSM whenever I ate pasta by also having a beer and saying "YARR!"

Conchigliette Convert
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:36 am

Re: Share your personal experiences with God

Postby Pineapple » Thu Sep 18, 2008 10:49 am

I mean no disrespect, but does this account not go against the seventh 'I'd really rather you didn't'?

User avatar
Posts: 2270
Joined: Thu Jul 10, 2008 11:28 pm
Location: Not quite close enough to Columbia, MD.

Re: Share your personal experiences with God

Postby fueledbycoffee » Thu Sep 18, 2008 11:13 am

Yes, indeed, it does.
Vote Pieces for Pope! She didn't buy me off with the funny hat, I swear!... She made me a cardinal.

User avatar
Gnocchetti Galley Slave
Posts: 64
Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2008 9:53 am
Location: Basking in the glory of the FSM

Read, mortals and learn.

Postby Putanesca » Fri Sep 19, 2008 11:59 am

2 score years and nine and a half I have searched. My quest for enlightenment has driven me to the far flung corners of His omni-verse (and then just that little bit further because I was too stubborn to ask directions and got lost on an outer spiral arm, I’d taken a left instead of a right, easy mistake to make).

And lo and at last, for I was extremely hungry by then having missed lunch, I chanced to enter a small Italian Bistro, you know the type, red and white checked tablecloths, plastic grapevines and empty Chianti bottles hanging from the imitation rafters, and proceeded with my daily prayer.

“Garlic bread to start.”
“Hmm, yes, spaghetti with meatballs, easy on the sauce.”
“And just the half bottle of house red, I think.”

But thus spoke unto me the gentleman in the sacred apron

“No. Signor. Not today, your order has already been taken”

Imagine my surprise, nay; dumbfounded confusion for surely this establishment had no telephone with which to place orders from afar.

“Pray tell,” Said I. “Whom has seen so fit as to furnish this repast for me”

With eyes raised to the false ceiling he replied

“The FSM. has chosen your long delayed refreshment today, in recompense for you having missed lunch on his behalf”

And so it was that before me was placed a plate of spaghetti with just a few black olives, some chopped garlic and anchovies. And thus It said unto me, in a nice cheery sort of voice.

“Behold, you, and you alone gaze upon the true face of the FSM. You have been selected, out of all of my followers, to spread My true gospel and henceforth you shall be known as Putanesca and men shall know ye by the slogan I now bestow upon thee in view of your dedication to the truth.

‘Pasta – You know it makes lunch.’”

“But Noodleness,” I whispered, “what about the meatballs?”

To which He replied, in what sounded like a slightly vexed voice.

“Oh, them. That Henderson fellow wouldn’t know an olive from a meatball if he fell over one. Forget the meatballs. Black Olives, they are the true sign of devotion”

And thus had the FSM vouchsafed unto me his first revelation.

“Now eat,” He continued, “and be filled with this most holy of meals. But before I depart I will give you this, your first of many tasks.”
“Where there were once Eight there are now to be Nine. You must impart to my adherents the following suggestion.

‘When you communicate with anyone, be it a believer or unbeliever alike, use a spelling checker, for verily you make me look like a right fool when you don’t. For that matter a grammar check wouldn’t go amiss either. And yes I do notice those missing apostrophes and capital letters’”.

So I ate, and as the FSM had said, I was filled although the half bottle of house red would have gone down well. But we must all make sacrifices for our beliefs (I had a small beer instead, I’m pretty sure he didn’t mind).

Hereby I do His bidding and post this as per His instructions. If you don’t like it don’t blame me.
Putanesca Napoli
PASTA - You know it makes lunch.

Return to “All Things FSM”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 10 guests