The True Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

[Apostateabe]

I believe you, brother. Yours is simply a black and white representation of your true colours. Well done, I say. We are all good Flying Spaghetti Monster fearing Pastafarians.

That conversion was so easy, even easier than converting from one protestant sect to another. I'll try that trick next time I walk into church naked. I'll say that I am wearing the armor of God, and if they don't see it, glory to God, that means God has not yet given them eyes to see.

[DaveL]

The Great One is really not that fussy about doctrine, in fact he laughs uncontrollably at those that attempt to act doctrinal.

He's proably having a big chuckle at yet another schism post right now.

[TrueBeliever]

The Great One is really not that fussy about doctrine, in fact he laughs uncontrollably at those that attempt to act doctrinal.

He's proably having a big chuckle at yet another schism post right now.

That's the whole point. I believe the best way to touch our God and to be touched by His Noodly Appendange is to make him laugh. Our God is all knowing and has a sense of humour, so SHE/HE/IT knows that my fussiness over doctrine was tongue in cheek. I think that she/he/it would say "I really rather you didn't take any of this seriously". I am following HER/HIS/ITS will.

RAmen

[Braenca]

Attention all FSM heretics: I have come to save you all.
snippage...
4. The Holiest City in all of Spaghettidom is Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. This is the site where the Holy Meatball Meteorite fell to Earth to show us the True Path.
...snippage ends

True Believer

The sacred Meateorite ??

[TrueBeliever]

The sacred Meateorite ??

Yes! Even better. With lots of oregano.

[Putanesca]

Beware, you false prophet, with your talk of green hats. I Putanesca, His one true prophet etc. etc. (Black Olive unofficial separatist wing) am the only one touched by His Noodleness to speak on His behalf.

“Green hats are anathema for I will not be touched by the green but only by the black of the olive, but make sure you take the pit out first.” – FSM spoken to me last night at about 2:30. So there.

So listen not, ye good and gentle folk, to this misguided soul and wear the black.

I’m allowed the white chefs hat because I’m a prophet and He said it could, in a dim light, look like a bishop’s mitre.

Oh yes, He also asked me to remind you about His suggestion that you all use spell checkers.

[Ubi Dubium]

Bobby is the only true prophet! As for all others, please remember the Seventh "I'd Really Rather You Didnt":

I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself.

But fear not - there is room in the noodly tent for green hats and black olives and even soy-protein meatballs.

RAmen

[TrueBeliever]

Is this the beginning of the Seventh "I'd really rather you didn't" Adventists?

[Elvalia]

Is this the beginning of the Seventh "I'd really rather you didn't" Adventists?

I certainly hope not. This was also covered in the frequently asked questions thread:

Q: Hey! Wouldn't it be funny to say that the FSM has spoken to me/come to me in a dream/I am the FSM, and demand that you follow my ignorant, unsubstantiated schism or else be wrong?

A: No.

And there we have it. That plus the seventh I'd really rather you didn't makes two sources that say cut it out.

[Putanesca]

Oops, did I touch a nerve there?

I do hope we are not in danger of taking ourselves too seriously. Surely a parody of a parody is perfectly acceptable behaviour.

Besides, what true religion would be complete without schisms, infighting and people claiming to have had one on one conversations with the deity of their choice. Examples of the hypocrisy of people following their own personal agenda in the name of said deity are rife throughout the history of all religions, so why not in ours?

And finally, I am actually going to try to make some serious points, but don’t tell anybody yet as that would spoil the fun, well mine at least.

Wait until you hear what the FSM is going to tell me next time He speaks to me.

schisms (?:23) May you be blessed with olives (black for preference)

[Elvalia]

You touched no nerve. I'm perfectly capable of ignoring those who annoy me. I'm simply pointing out that what you're doing has apparently been noted as a nuisance in the past, and that you might be better off making your serious points in a more serious manner.

I do hope we are not in danger of making too much of a nuisance of ourselves. Surely suggestions made to make forums more orderly and enjoyable are meant to be heeded.

[Katimana]

I'm colour blind and have a hat that I think is green. What if I find out after all of the pasta is gone and the colander is empty that it was actually red.

OMFSM, what will I do?

[Ubi Dubium]

I'm colour blind and have a hat that I think is green. What if I find out after all of the pasta is gone and the colander is empty that it was actually red.

OMFSM, what will I do?

Just have faith that it's green. All you need to do is beeelieeeeve hard enough, and you can get rid of any annoying facts, and subsititute truthiness in their place. The fundies do it all the time.

[TrueBeliever]

I started this thread just to have a little fun, and most of the posters seemed to be partaking in that. Just for the record, I do not believe that the FSM has ever spoken to me. I know that I'm not all that interesting to the FSM. I do not believe that I'm in any danger of contravening the 7th IRRYD. And judging from the "Ziti Zealot", etc. designations, some of us are newbies and weren't around when the first, second, and forty-third parody schisms occurred. We cannot read every single post that has ever been written (although I will grant you that I could have read the FAQs first). But, when you think about it, it is only natural that these do happen from time to time, judging from the main focus of Pastafarianism. The parodic elements I used ("must wear green hats") are so silly and unrelated to actual religious doctrine as to be rather innocuous. So, really, if a few people want to have a little fun on a thread on an internet forum one of whose most important tools is humour, what's the big deal? There are some threads I do not find particularly interesting and that's quite O.K. I simply don't read them.

Now for those of you who insist on wearing *purple* hats...

Now that's a SERIOUS matter. Ooooo. that makes me SO mad...

[Katimana]

Please forgive me Oh! Great Noodley One (with extra oregano in your meatballs) but....

...I don't need you to talk to me. I have been gently caressed by the soft (and slightly damp) tenderness of your noodly touch, and know that if no-one else finds me interesting then at least I am interested in my self. Sometimes I just watch myself eat my ramen and sigh contendedly. While wearing my (I think it's green) hat.

Ramen.