Use only the wooden spoon preparing the Holy Sauce in my best pan, otherwise you will surely feel the back of my not-so-Noodly appendage upon thee.
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He touched me again on the train home last night. More unworthy offerings from my mighty pen... Abhor ye not the dried pasta, for verily it is written that only the stuff in tins is an abomination. Forsake thy bus seat to the large of girth, for verily they have already seen the ways of the FSM. Giv...